Oh, one of my favorite people are coming on today. This is the first time we're actually going to have a speaker, like a guest speaker, on the show. Like, have you ever stumbled across someone and just thought, oh shit, like, this bitch might actually get me? You know when you find like a person or two or maybe you actually have like a whole crew and you're super fortunate where you
can actually just be you, like be yourself while you're talking to them instead of like worrying about everything that's coming out of your mouth?
Well, that's what happened when I bought my friend Sam. I, what I mean by bot is I actually hired a social media manager and then it turned out she was even cooler to talk to in person and text and we super connected and now I just can't get enough of this glitter business bestie. So I want to welcome Samantha Parker today to the podcast.
So on this episode of The Sorority with your host here, Jessica Mystic, we're going to talk about showing up and just owning our main character energy in 2024. Here she is.
Welcome Sam to The Sorority with Jessica Meadstick and Smith Parker here has been my content team for a little while now and she's incredible, she's amazing and now she's my new business bestie. So I've invited her to the podcast and we're gonna just have a chill, chatty conversation, see which way it goes because we tend to go all kinds of directions.
Well I can't wait, I'm, I'm here for the ride, I'm buckled up. Okay, let's do this. So I was thinking we could chat a little bit more about, like, we're only a couple weeks into this year, and everyone puts so much pressure on, like, where are you going this year? What are you doing this year? And I find that so much for me, personally, has shifted, and my businesses, and what I've been doing, and, personally, what, how I want to show up.
I'm curious on, Where you're at, where you're going, and how you've been kind of moving through that, , what's the mindful process you've been working through, and what are you doing? Well, okay, so I find this super interesting because, in December, I was like, okay, I know my goals for, next year, or at least, the first 90 days of 2023, which I think they call that Q1, but that's, like, boring as fuck, right?
I just am always like, the next 90 days, like, what are with these quarters? If I had to judge my success by a quarter, I would be scared. But I had it all figured out. I had it all mapped out. Like I can even show you, like I have this planner sitting on my desk and I was like, okay, so I'll do this here and then I'll do this here and I'll do this here.
So I got started, right? I'm on track. Technically I'm still on track. And then I had a mental breakdown. And I just thought it was super interesting. I was like, why am I having this mental breakdown? And it really occurred to me because a lot of the stuff that I was like, gonna put my eggs in that basket for lack of a better term, really didn't align with me at all.
It wasn't anything I actually wanted to do, but I just knew from working on the online world that it's like, this is how you set up. This is how you structure. This is what you do next. But like, I don't want any of that. So there I am. Yeah, I find for me, we get kind of caught up in like, where I want to go, like, okay, I need to hit this goal.
And I discovered for me, it was like, well, why do I need to hit that goal? And then you realize, is it because I feel like I should? Or do I actually want to do that? What is it about that? Like, when I had especially monetary goals, it's like, well, I want to make this much next year. I went from wanting to hit six figures, okay, I want to hit a quarter mil.
I want to hit a half mil. And it's like, well, why though? What does that actually mean for me? And how do I want to do that? I can hustle and grind and make a fuck ton of money. I don't want to do that. And originally it was like, okay, I want to try and still work with clients. I want to try. Like, in the school, I wanted to still be taking, like, service clients and doing all the stuff, and then I realized, no, I don't want to do all the things anymore, though, and I had to really come to terms with, I'm still able to make more by being less present in certain areas and, putting my trust in other people and, hiring employees.
And that was all something I was celebrating in December, and was like, Oh shit, it's happening, it's happening, and then all of a sudden it happened, and I'm like, Okay, now I have a team of four people that I'm leading, and then it's like, Well, what the fuck am I doing with myself? Like, and, It's almost like things were getting good and I crossed things off and then I, I felt really lost and like I had a mental breakdown and I was like, what am I even doing?
Why am I even here? I'm addicted to work. I remember messaging you on weekends multiple times and just being like, I'm trying to get this and I'm on your like, this is a sign from the universe that you should just fucking stop. Right? Like, Oh, I know, I know, but I wasn't listening to myself. And I think I really needed that rude awakening on like, I get to have it all.
I get to show up the way I want to, I get to work. Well, I say I get to work when I want to, but there's. Do you feel like sometimes that's kind of a lie though, like sometimes we have to put a little extra hustle in when we want something to happen, but we get to choose when we want to do that. Yeah, so time freedom is a super interesting concept because it kind of exists, but it also doesn't, you know?
Yeah. So people are like, do what you want, when you want. It's a hundred million percent different than a corporate job, right? Where I have to like be there at nine or even, I've never actually worked in corporate. Well, I mean, I guess I have, I worked in a hospital for a long time, but that was not like.
Yeah. That's not like corporate office y, like, you know? No. Professional. Yeah, but it's like you have to show up for your shift and you have to do these specific things. Like, you know, I can't be like, oh, I don't feel good today, I'm gonna move these appointments around. No, you just, you have to be there, you know?
Like, so, time freedom is an interesting concept. But also, like, if I didn't put in the work and I didn't do the things, I wouldn't have what I have. So many people are like, I want to work less and you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but you actually have to put in the time. I don't care who you are. You have to have done the time together.
Like I have to show up to everything possible and network a ton to get to where I am, you know? Yeah, and I think whenever you have a new project or you're doing something new, it will work for you. But there's times like we have to learn something or we have to find someone to help us with something or we have to show up and figure it out.
And there's a lot of fuck around and find out that happens. I don't care how, how far you are in business. You're always going to be fucking around to find out in some aspect, like, there's no way you're going to know everything. So there's always going to be time that we put in, and then you're like, oh, that didn't work out, or that was a waste of time.
Okay, I should do this differently. And I think, I think it should be more like free, like time flexibility would be a better term than time. Yes, it's time flexibility. That's exactly what it is. Like today I was like, oh, I don't have calls till 11. I don't have a lot of tasks to do today. Like there just isn't a lot like on my docket for the day.
So I was like, Oh, I'm just going to go to the gym after I take my son to school instead of like getting up at five, you know, cause some days I will get up at five to make sure I get like my workout in and stuff, but it's like, that's a flexibility choice that I get. My husband doesn't get that choice.
Like he has to leave for work every day at 630. Yeah. I mean, I think I've kind of sometimes forget what it's like. Like, I know we talked about like, we talked about marketing to ideal clients and like, you want freedom and it's like, no, you want to be able to not have to ask permission to live your life.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to ask permission to go like, I don't want to ask permission to go on a field trip with my kids. If I get a field trip slip and I have clients, like a client or something, it's like, okay, I have to move you because I prioritize my family over this. But if someone's like, hey, you have a health inspection, you have to be there.
I'd be like, no, like I would have to make it work and figure it out or have staff that could go and be present and stuff. But there's always something we have to put in. It's never just. There's a lot of like that falsity between it will just work for me. It's like you have to make it work for you.
You have to actually plan it. Just like when we were, when I submit content to you, for example, and then I went into my cocoon and I didn't submit anything for a while, and you guys held it together. I wasn't showing up, and I wasn't being accountable, and things weren't performing well, but I'm not gonna turn around and blame you because I didn't show up that way.
I knew that if I didn't, it was gonna happen, but I chose to, go into my hole, and it's , okay, now I gotta come back out. No, I actually love where you're going with this because I do get a lot of clients who are like, my content isn't performing or, my TikTok suck. And I'm like, you haven't sent us any new video content, like of you talking, you haven't done any of the things, for like months, like what do you mean?
You know? So it's like you have to take accountability for your own business as well. So when you hire people like a social media manager, you hire like an assistant or whatever, like you're still driving the ship. So that's where, like, you have flexibility of time, but you still have to, like, actually get up and, like, man where shit is going.
Especially, like, if you're doing face to camera, you have to have your face on camera. Like, you have to talk to the phone and send that shit in. Like, that's how that works. And I deal with clients who do the same thing. They're like, oh, well, I was trying to find an idea and I was scrolling and I'm just like, okay, so in the hour you were scrolling trying to find something to lip sync, Why didn't you just talk about what was on your mind that you were trying to match so desperately to an audio?
Like why don't you just say it? Well, do you want to talk about, Trans since this is a sorority and sorority sisters, I think like move all over the place. Uh, yeah, we definitely should. Okay, so I have a whole notes on this because I'm going to be filming like an in person video about this. Okay, so there's a lot going on in social media right now and as a social media manager, I know that like 2024, people are still trying to like scroll and they're still trying to find those trends and even you, you'll send me like a piece of content that I did and you're like, well, I want one of these and I'm like, okay, you know.
But I think that if you guys will all, take a step back and you'll start stepping into more authentic, like, content, where you're generating, like, your own ideas and you're actually just, like, sharing what you want to share with the world, you'll see a huge, huge shift in your content and the way it performs.
You're not going to get that instant, like, validation, right, that, like, a trend might have gotten you, but you are going to end up being, like, the leader in your space and you're going to end up standing out. So I think that you have to, like, stop scrolling, period. You have to pay attention to what you want to share, and you have to get really quiet, and you have to actually trust yourself.
That is something that I have needed to hear over and over again, and it didn't actually start really hitting. It started to hit differently in the last, like, two months, because I, I like to doom scroll, because I like to get a shame hit, and just be like, what am I not doing, and what am I not getting? You should only be scrolling for entertainment purposes, right?
Like, last night, I was like, Yeah. No, it should only be for entertainment. Like last night I was like asking my husband, I was like, Hey, do you want to watch this show? Cause I had an hour before bed. Right. I love watching a show. And then I was like, you know, I actually just want to say her and scroll Tik TOK.
Cause I was like watching some really funny videos, you know? So I liked it. I totally do that. It's like, actually, I really enjoy watching this person, make, she was like, making this flax based gel mask thing, but the whole process. I was like, this is interesting. Yeah. I like how to shit, so when I'm watching people do random how to shit, I just like, fact bank, and it's like, oh, this is cool.
I do think it's interesting though when we're talking about trends and TikTok that people get so swept away in trying to understand like getting ahead of it, like getting ahead of the next wave. I think it's really important when you're talking about being able to trust yourself and show up in what you want to do.
I find that too often I second guess every single thing I do as soon as I watch one other person's thing. It's no different from like tattooing and learning a new skill. If I did a tattoo, I would zoom in, pick it apart, look at another artist's work, be like, why can't I be as good as them? And I think this is the year where I really wanted to scale back.
And you know, we've had these conversations, like I've stripped things down. Like I grew really fast and now I'm like scaling back and I'm sitting with myself. I'm like, okay, I'm going to do this. And see how it rolls out, like just playing with shit week to week, I'm kind of breaking the rules and the systems that I did have set up that got me here, which is terrifying, but I want to play with it.
And I want to try it because that's how I'm going to find out what I want to say and what I want to do and how I want to show up. I kind of get lazy, right? I get used to like people, I don't know, I get used to certain people or conversations and then I'm like, okay, they know. And I think that's something important to talk about, like when you mentioned when you hire somebody.
It's like you're still running the ship. We kind of get lazy. We're like, oh, they've got it handled. They've got it handled. And it's like, no, I still need to know, what is it that I want? What is it, what is my next phase? What is it I want to be known for? What is it that I'm saying now? Like, especially going into, like, the speaking role and, devising speeches and wanting to go on stage and do all of that.
Like, that's a whole other fucking realm. It's like, why though? Why do I want to do that? What is my message? And it's like, I've gone back, it feels like you circle back to square one. And it's kind of like that beginning of the year, everyone does the resolutions. But for me, it's like revisiting. It's like, what do I want?
What do I want? And that sometimes I don't fucking know, man. I know. I think part of my like whole mental breakdown that I had, well, actually I did get, triggered by something. So it was like a PTSD response to something really bad that happened to me. So it was like part of that, but I also think it was the universe being like, well, you don't even really want this.
Have you sat down and like had a chat with yourself lately? You know? So that's why I think like putting out goals and putting out resolutions, I think it's awesome. I think we should do it all the time, but. You get to change your mind. Like you could be like one month into something and be like, I don't want to do this.
And so many people are like, no, stick with it. Stick with it. Stick with it. And I'm like, if you know in the fucking, like, bottom of, and you're self aware, and you feel it, like, just don't do it. Like, who cares? No one else is in charge of your life. Guess what? You get to change your mind as many fucking times as you want.
You can change your mind and then change it back. You can be like, well, shit. Like, and I think it's scary. I'm forcing myself to do shit that, like, I have parts of me that are screaming, like, don't. You're gonna make it, it's gonna be hard if you do that. And I'm like, No, I'm going to try it. We'll see what happens, because we can always go back and pick up where we left off before.
If something's not working, you can always go back. You can't get time back, but you still have a lesson learned. You're still moving forward with something else. And I think too many people are focused on what they're losing. I'm wasting time. I wasted money. I, it's it's all learning. You're never wasting anything as long as you're taking the lesson, getting the lesson from it.
I think that's something we need to remind ourselves. What am I learning from this? Even in a breakdown. Like, I was full meltdown mode. And unfortunately it happened the same day my husband had a meltdown and usually we balanced each other out and we were both just like fucked. So it was like a horrible day, like it was awful.
But we realized what came out of it when we had a conversation later was the way we both run, we both have our own businesses. And I've been putting so much dedication and devotion into growing those businesses and finding my voice there that like there are systems and structures at home that weren't in place.
Like we weren't taking care of ourselves, we weren't, we aren't going to the gym. We weren't taking care of our physical bodies. We weren't meal prepping and we're kind of scrambling, throwing makeshift shitty dinners together. At least the kids are fed, then we would snack. Like things like this, our energy management at home and how we're operating as individuals was not being held to the same standards.
So it's like, K, re evaluate, get your shit together, apply yourself. In all areas of your life, like I was neglecting at home and pouring way too much into my clients and my team and my people and my online stuff and not my actual physical body. Well, and then I don't know, like, I can only speak for myself as a woman.
I was like, I don't know if men do this too, but like, why does our whole identity become like our business? And why does like our whole self worth and everything just revolve around the business? For me, I think it's because it's our outlet, because for me, with two young kids at home, and having a home, there's all those different, like, frequencies we operate at, like, when I'm mom, I am taking care of them, I'm showing up for them, and it's a no matter what, like, I don't have an option, I chose to have these children, I'm fucking taking care of them, and I'm making sure that I give them everything I can, so it's kind of a form of escapism, cause having my business, I get to show up however the fuck I want, you know?
And I get to prove that I can make money doing it, which feeds my ego a little bit. So I got to work on that sometimes, but it's kind of this, like, for me, it's creative. So it's something I can pour myself into and there's always, it's a game. We're always creating and finding ways that we can make money or explore different options or make different connections and make a different impact.
But I obsess over it. Like it's. It's an obsession, and it's a hyperfixation, and then when things aren't working, or I'm doing shit I don't want to, it becomes a job, and then I break. So it's always finding that balance of what's feeding the excitement to keep it moving, while still being like, responsible human, like a human, like, making sure my family's fed, and doing all those things.
But our identity, I think, becomes melded, because we don't get to be who we are, because we're mom, or we're the wife, or we're Like we don't put our, that's what it is. We're not really being ourselves in, at home in those roles, so we're seeking another way to do it, but then it's just another version of ourselves.
It's still not who we are. We still haven't taken the time to be like, Who the fuck am I? What am I doing? I think that's where maybe there's a lack. We need to be able to do that. No, I actually, I love what you're saying. I think one thing for me is I've gotta get out of my house. Yeah. I need to go and be like, Boss Sam, and then I need to just come home and be like I could see that, like having that separation.
After this long, like eight years, and right off the bat, I was like, Oh, working from home is not, everyone's like, it's the dream. And I'm like, Oh, fuck. It's not. I like having a place to go to work too. So I think for me, that's one of the struggles. Like I have this office and this is my creation space. And this is where I do like coaching with my clients.
And then obviously. Yeah. No, I still, I still want to be able to sit at a desk if I don't want to go anywhere that day. But I'm not disciplined enough to like. work from home. I have times to be in this room, and like, this room is already a lot of reflection. It's just, it's just my space in the house.
It's got my shit in it. It's just because the house is owned by the family. It's everybody's space. This is my space and my husband has the games room downstairs. So I just having, I call them sacred spaces. Like I need a sacred space to be myself. But a lot of people say like work out at home. Cause I always bitch like, Oh, I need to work.
I need to move. I need to go to yoga. I need to do this stuff. I'm like, we'll just do it at home. Like I don't work out at home. I don't have space for it. I have to be out of my head. Like in order for me to be present, I need to be present in that environment. And I can't do that from here.
Yeah, no, I, I can work out at home, but my main source is like, I need to go to the gym, I need to go somewhere. Like, I need to be out, I get squirrely. Yeah. I just think you're in future What I'm saying is, it's like, almost you used to just come home and be like with your family, and now it's like the fucking everything.
It's like a fucking tornado swirl of all the energies. There's no boxes. Right? And that's, that's one thing this year. I remember that post you made where you're just like, I'm leaving my phone. And it's so true. Now, I'm taking my watch off and leaving it on the charger with my phone because even when Oh, I can't do the Apple Watches.
I can't. You know how many I've bought too? Because I was like, oh, I could do this. Three. I've bought them three. And I'm like, why would I want that all the time? I don't understand them. I don't know. Even my husband, and he's like, we don't have the same anxiety because he's I'm just looking at a text from you.
Not like Someone who's like, my TikTok, you know? I think that's the difference for me. Like, I don't have, a lot of people don't have my number for that reason. Because if it's messaging through Instagram or Facebook or whatever platform, it doesn't come to my watch. The only thing that comes to my watch are text calls and then like, the business.
calls because I'm monitoring it right now, that's going to change. But, that way if it comes through, then I know it's someone who needs to get a hold of me. So that's how I like manage the anxiety of not having my phone on me. And I always have this fear, as that something medically is just going to happen to me.
I'm going to collapse or something bad is going to happen because I'm working through that. So if I do fall, I have fall detection and I can hold the button My emergency contacts are notified. So it's like my little, my little security blanket. Or if I'm having an episode and I have this happen, like I'll, I block out in the bathroom when I have really bad episodes and I get really sick and I'll just be like, I'll voice text someone and be like, I'm going down.
Like phone me or check on me. But that's different. That's different. So that's what mine's for. But when it comes to like. Business stuff. I couldn't imagine for you, people texting for that shit all the time. That would drive me nuts. There's no way. And timers. I need it for timers. Like, I need, I need Siri to tell me to, like, fuckin switch tasks.
Yeah, no, I think that's awesome. But yeah, like, for me, I'm just like, no thank you. You know? Yeah, you're just like, I don't want to. I find, like, I at least have to have one or two nights a week where I don't sleep with it on, though. Because I feel like it's a different kind of sleep. Oh, yeah. I feel like I don't sleep the same when I'm wearing it.
And I went, I put my phone. Yeah, I put my phone like on the floor, oh, my phone's in the kitchen. I don't bring it in the bedroom anymore. I feel like I just. I don't know, it's like, the waves, it just narrows. Yeah, it needs to be on the floor. Okay, you know what I started doing at night? Because I kept waking up with a really sore throat.
I think I picked up, like, a snoring habit as we get older. I kept waking up with, like, a really sore throat and just, your mouth is, crusty and, like, everything would hurt when I wake up. You know what I'm talking about? So I bought the mouth tape and I've been trying to sleep with mouth tape, but at some point every night I take it off.
And I'm like, fuck! I don't even know I've taken it off. This is hilarious that you're talking about this, because I, I literally mentioned to my husband last night because I was bitching about my masseters and how I want to Botox them because I've had such bad migraines, my teeth are aching, so I was like, I might try mouth taping.
It stopped my jaw clenching too. That's what I'm wondering. I have two very expensive fucking jaw guards. Yeah. Yeah, those things, the night guards. I have one top one, and I have one that's a bottom one, but at night I'm spitting them out, so that doesn't work. So yeah, halfway through the night at some point, I'm taking the tape off.
The other day I woke up and it was stuck to my palm, like, I had just, like, Like, no. Yeah, so, when I go to sleep, you have to go to sleep really calm with them, though. If you need some tips, like, you have to be super calm. Because at some point I'll be like, I can't breathe! And I'm like, you can breathe perfectly fine.
In fact, you're breathing quite well. Isn't that weird? Like, that was my fear, too. I'm like, what if I can't breathe? It's like when I have my lips filled. You can actually breathe through the tape, like, if you part your lips. But isn't that crazy how our brains, like, you're trapped. You're suffocating. Yeah.
You're gonna die. You're gonna die. Yeah. This is it. You shouldn't be doing this. Your face looks I feel like eventually I'm gonna get it. I felt like that when I had my lip filler done because when they numbed it, I was like so numb. Like I was numb all the way up my I couldn't even tell I had a nose anymore and I was laying there and I'm like, I can't breathe.
I can't feel my nose. I'm like, can I still breathe? And I'm like, wait, breathing comes from our lungs. We'll be fine. Yeah. I'm just like, my face is fucked. I can't breathe. You guys, I think everyone should try the mouth tape. I'm just like looking for a tip. I'm like, does anyone have pointers? Like, how do you make it through the night?
Just tape it, like, just make a strand of it. The one I got, it's called hostage tape, which is just kind of wrong, but they're just like little black, you know. And it's very sticky, but it's also kind of that like stretchy, like almost what they wrap your IVs with. Oh yeah, it's super sticky and you just like put it over your lips.
It's supposed to also make you snatch somehow, but I don't get it. Probably. 'cause you're not like, yeah, stretching it. I dunno. Depends on, I don't know how I snore. I'm also a side sleeper, so I'm like, why? Yeah. It's weird. I'm a side sleeper too, but I've been trying to sleep more like a corpse, just like, yep.
A size bed. It's so comfortable. Oh my God. It's so it's like, I don't know, it's like all foam, like I'm sleeping in space. We haven't, we've always had a king size bed, but normally I'm like very like, we lay next to each other and go to sleep and at some point in the night like we move apart, you know, but lately I've been like making like a little pillow, like a blanket for in between us, like he hasn't said anything, but I don't know, lately I've just been like, I just gotta do me, I gotta do me, man.
I just need, I just need this, this space for me. Oh please, for the love of god, don't touch me. I feel bad because my poor husband, it's like, I do want to cuddle you, but my son, like, he's only three and he is still a koala, so when I do get to sleep in my bed, I'm just like, nobody fucking touch me.
Like, this is I get to, I get to sleep. This is my sleep space. It's your dance space. This is my dance space. And I'm sleeping. And I think that's really, you know, now that we're talking about this, I think that's really what's happened like with this year. And that's why we probably had our meltdowns.
Is there a lot of, we haven't had our own space. Because, like, you take care of a lot of people. Yeah. And a team that takes care of a lot of people. And, your job's very demanding. Even though you own your own shit, and you get to, like, have your time flexibility, your job is demanding. And you're dealing with the insecurities of other people.
Like, there's so much pressure in, like, content and how we show up online. Because everything's online. I would imagine that you're carrying a lot of that for people. Yes, and a lot of times they are throwing shit back at me, but I have actually learned to, I think it takes a really strong person to be a social media manager, honestly, but I have learned to really, look at my own reactions because I can control my reaction, so I don't have to put energy into it, right?
So yesterday you did text me and you're like, my TikTok is frozen, and I was in the middle of making dinner, and normally I would have gone into complete panic, started messaging everyone, been like, we must fix this immediately. Yeah, no, so do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. But I was like, I have to finish making dinner, like, I'm so sorry, Jessica.
So like, I came back and I answered like, a bulk of messages, you know? Oh, I didn't want you to answer right away. No, no, I know you didn't, but it's my reaction to it. Does that make sense? Yeah, because I do. Yeah, because I was like, hey, Cece, tomorrow, and I wasn't even like, do this right now because it's 8 30 at night.
I just was like, tomorrow will you double post because hers is frozen? And TikTok just does that from time to time. Yeah, awesome. I like it. The thing for me is it's something like, I was on there and I'm just like, Oh, is it my phone? Cause I also get really ragey with tech and I'm impatient. So I'm like, it's not loading.
So I was just like, is it frozen or is it me? Well, yeah, and a lot of times people are like blaming me for the, , like glitches of the platform, you know, God, I was in Mexico and this company that I'm no longer working with sent me like the nastiest message. I didn't even care about their brand or their business.
And I was like, well, what are you talking about? Like, why wouldn't I care about you? And they're like, this real is posted and you didn't even put the cover on it. Your team just throws shit up. And I was like, so I went into the scheduler and the cover was there. It just like, Didn't stick in Instagram. So like this is some of the stuff that like people I'm like, please be nice to me You know, I'm a human being and I'm also on vacation and like I think people need to understand yeah social media It's important.
It's free advertising It's how you advertise your business and how you create like brand awareness But your business isn't gonna fucking die because you didn't post that day Your business isn't gonna die because you fucked up the text you only typos I've had, you can tell, like, which ones you've posted and which ones I've posted because there's always a typo if I did it.
Well, and I mean, typos are just gonna happen in general anyways, because you're putting out so much content. But it's like, you also have to realize, like, I didn't, I don't build Instagram. Like, I have nothing to do with them. We're just working with it, man, and that shit changes all. The fucking time.
Like, right now I'm training the ladies because they have their own accounts through the school for the service ladies to build build for their services. So I'm like, okay, they don't know anything about social media. So it's like, okay, here's how here's a content board so everyone knows what services they're focusing on.
You know, like what kind of things you can put out. And I have like all the lists for them and like trying to train them on like basic content. One of my ladies is, she's like, I don't understand social media, like I'm so overwhelmed, I'm like, you don't need to be a social media manager, you just need to put out a couple posts so people know what the fuck you're doing and collaborate it to my main page.
Like just, just show you working, show before, like just something, say hello, post a picture of yourself, like just something, just to get them in the habit. And there's, I can see like how crippling it is for her because she's so scared like she's gonna fuck it up, or she's not gonna do it right, and I'm like, this doesn't, it, I'm just, just put some stuff out, people gotta find you, so you can send them and be like, oh here's what I do, that's all it is, like we're just creating a little portfolio right now, no stress out, like the main page is the main, They all feed each other, but you know what I mean?
Just like starting out, the stress is there. And I think people put too much weight on that, and then pass it down. Where it's , this isn't, everything's fucked. It's like, no, it's just, just, let's learn it. The algorithm changes all the time. Well, and that's why I think if you circle back, right, so what I was saying is, just stop scrolling.
Yep. Just put out the content. I can't even tell you how many days I get like, Text from someone who's like, they were just watching some experts video and they were like, it says we have to keyword stuff and I was like, for the love of God, please do not keyword stuff, you know, they're like, this is why I'm not viral.
And I'm like, Oh, it's like, no, there's more to it than that. Like, and there's so much more to going viral than just. Strategy and stats like like you imagine you're like all you have to do is keyword stuff and you're viral. We'd all be viral Yeah, right like and I said, why is everyone so fixated on being viral like when?
I considered viral like hitting like over 10 grams or rip me apart. That's not viral. Like for me that is because when I hit that 10 grand like 10k on the views or whatever and that's probably over like I don't know what it's on now remember and I had all those hate messages and comments. Way more than 10k you're like over 100, 000 views and you had like 500, 600 comments didn't you?
Okay, so it was a lot bigger. I'm really bad, but this is what I don't know. We'd have to go back and look I don't know We would have to look but like it blew up and it created a lot of conversation but people are accusing me of like you're trying to like bait people and I'm just like it was just and like if you watch The damn thing it was just my opinion Well, you know what's funny is what you were saying in the video was exactly how the people were reacting to you You're saying that men in the tattoo industry are kind of nasty to women.
So what did they do? And then they all got mad. Super nasty to you. Super nasty to you. Not just mad, it wasn't even like a learning moment, like, of like, hey, like, hey, maybe we could do better to the women in this industry. It was a, fuck you. Go fucking kill yourself. Yeah, it was go fuck you.
Yeah. Yeah, like it was insane. But what's really strange about it is, like, everyone really reacted, I think, because I was talking about masculine feminine energy. And what's funny is how everyone jumped down my throats and, like, I'm man hating. And I was like, like, I literally just spoke on a personal experience.
I don't hate men. I'm married to one. He's fine. I was like, I love men. I love dick, but I know how it feels to be treated as a woman in business. I constantly, I live in, A very Republican, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Republicans. Well, you're in Canada, I don't know. But anyways, I'm like, I vote, I voted Republican, like, whatever, okay?
Like, but there's a very level of, like, conservatism in, like, where I live in conservative Utah. Utah's just generally conservative, and I live in a smaller town in Utah. So, yeah. , we like our guns, but it is, I have had to constantly, constantly defend myself and I don't even want to be in that energy.
I've even tried for a couple years to be like, Oh no, that's not like everything's fine. It's very equal. And it's, it's not like I'm constantly having to defend myself as a woman in business. Well, even when we first started working together, I was targeting, like, tattoo artists because I wanted to, like, speak to the ones that wanted to get out of that and who were getting put through apprenticeships where they're sexually, verbally abused and, like, basically told to just fucking be shot, bitch, make nothing, and earn your, earn your way and be owned by them, and, like, the industry is changing, it's, it's not everywhere, but it still happens, it does still happen, there are still people out there that experience this, and it is wrong, and I wanted to speak to that, but unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, By targeting the tattoo industry, I was really only attracting more of that, and I didn't want to sit in the energy of defending myself over and over and over again.
And that reel is what made me realize, Okay, recalibrate. We're only gonna speak to PMU and beauty business, because honestly, the artists that are ready to leave that environment are already looking at this shit. So like, what is the lesson we learned from that? Again, we have to ask ourselves these questions.
When this shit happens, whether we're being attacked, or we feel attacked, or we get triggered, I was like, we have fucking trauma. I think almost every human being has trauma in some regard and some of us have a lot more than others in different areas. And when we are triggered, I think it's important to understand why and what's the lesson we're repeating.
What are we not doing? What are we not changing? Well, I'm still trying to make those fuckers happy and like me and respect me. They don't move on. Just go over here. Who are you talking to? How does that serve? It doesn't serve me to keep talking to the tattoo world. I left it. I retired. I, I don't operate in that, that culture.
It's a part of my history. It's a part of what got me here and where I am, but I never really fit in, ironically. I know I'm amazing, but like I didn't fit in. It's just like, it was just a reminder for you or it's like almost like a little nudge, right? But I also see it as like a please keep standing up for the people who need you.
Well, and you went through like a culling of your clients that you went through recently where it was just like, fuck, I'm not here for this. I remember you messaged me and you're like, fucking done. I'm fucking done today. Dude, it was wild. One person was like, you need a man to do our content. And I was like, well, this video that I made has 1.
1 million views.
When does a dick make the difference on view? Well, I guess that's what I was like. Plus my videographer is a man.
That was one of those where I was like, and here I was ready to smash my back with like a baseball bat, you know? Yeah. What? Yeah. And then I'm like, why would I want this? I was like, goodbye. You know, like, just go like. I know, and I still catch myself falling into that sometimes, like, I'm the boss of my businesses, I'm leading my shit, I own my empires, I decide who I hire and fire, yet I'm still like, oh my god, I still want everyone to like me and make everyone happy, like, why do I do, why do I do that?
But that comes from the story of never belonging, and it's like, but do I need to? Do we, like, we all, we all inherently belong here. I just always try to do my best job and, like, if we didn't do our best job, I'd be like, okay, like, I see that, you know, someone might be better for you. I learned where we could have done better, you know?
Yeah. And I'm always like that. I'm like, yes. So, but it's like, oh, I also, I got an email that was, like, telling me I was a horrible person and I'm all, This is wild. I am in the wild, wild west, but I also needed the reminder too, that like, I was getting emails, texts, you know, were on calls, like, I could, like, this is the best we've ever seen, like, thank you so much.
So you just have to be like, goodbye, you know, but it's hard. It does hurt. It does fucking hurt. Well, it's like when you're married and, you know, your husband was like, that was the best sex of my life. And then the next day he's like, I hate you, you know? Like, I will. It would hurt. I can understand that. I mean, I think, for me, because you know that I'm scaling back a bit, obviously we already, you already know this, but scaling back again, this was more of a like, what am I doing, what am I finding, is it something I'm trying to train these ladies on, and then it's like, okay, well let's find the voice, what do I want, recalibrate, but it's like, I think people too, like I remember when I was messaging you, working through it, and I'm like, well if I message her that, she's just gonna fire me, she's never gonna work with me again.
And it's like, well that's not true. If I'm scaling back, I can come back and pick it right up where I left off. Like, I still have launches coming up, I still have promos, I still have shit that I want to get done. But now it's just a matter of, what's happening with these women, where are things going? What do I want?
What do I need? And re I'm just recalibrating my shit. You know, but I remember when I messaged you, I'm like, she's gonna fucking hate me. She's never gonna talk to me again. And then, and if I do wander back, I'm gonna have to find someone else. I'm never gonna find anyone else. Now I'm fucked. Now I'm gonna have to do it forever.
All the time. Everything. And that's the spiral. And you're like, okay, no, we're just, we're taking a hiatus. Plus I think though, if that is the reaction, then you have to just be like, Good for you, you know? Yeah, I was just like, okay. It was a rough day, though. It was so stupid, because like, you've always been just honest with me.
Like, you just message me back, like, whatever. And you did send me a message, you're like, if you end up wanting to move things in house I won't be offended. Let me know where you're at. And I'm like, well, I don't know. I don't know if I want it or not. I do think it's slightly funny though, this is because I'm like, there are literally, I employ six people that make people's social media go out.
You know? Right? And that's why it's like, okay, I'll let her try. Because I have a couple employees that are like, I really want to do it. And I'm like, well, let's see what you can do. But this is this is when they're like, we have an intern who's going to do it. And I'm like, I'm, I'm just, I'm playing Jessica with love.
But I think for me too. It's kind of that, like. What isn't happening is what I know I want and how I want to show up a certain way because I kind of lost myself and how I wanted to come through and like, yeah, I think it's kind of a little bit of like a self sabotaging punishment thing. Like sometimes I'm just like, okay, I want to challenge myself to see what happens here.
You know, like I just fuck around and find out, but at least I know, I know I can be like, okay, you know what? Let's laugh about that. That didn't, that didn't go. Oh my god, there's been so many things where I was like, what the fuck is she doing? God, no, I was listening to a podcast the other day though, and she said the best stuff.
She was like, you're never going to put out your best work, like ever. It's physically impossible. You're never going to. And you're going to put out dumb shit, and why can't you just come to terms with it? I was like, oh wow, this bitch is talking to me. Well, I feel like that's what led me to kind of like scale back for now and just be like, I want to prove to them because I keep telling them it doesn't matter.
Don't stress. And I'm like, okay, well, they're like, well, you have a team. And I'm like, fine, I'll show you, I'll show you that you can do it. We can scale back and I can pick up right where I left off and I can go farther. It's like, I'll fucking prove it. It's kind of that, I do weird shit like that. It's like, fine, I'll fucking prove it to you.
Is this like, I get actually really motivated by like, weird shit where people are like, well, that's not sustainable and I'm all, hold my beer, you dumb bitch. That's kind of what happened. And then it's just like, okay, okay, we'll do it. I'll let, I'll let you guys go for it. But like, I think people get caught up in like, cause I've had someone say, well, how much are you going to save?
And I'm like, I'm not saving because now I'm having to do, I'm going to have to do a little more, right? I have to do more, I have to train them, see what's being held, what's not being held, and then re strategize and then go back to you and be like, okay, we're handling this because I'm probably going to have, instead of having both accounts, I'll pass off the one, but come back and give you the other one.
But I don't want to manage it. I don't want to manage it. And I think people need to get honest with their time. Why would I like a content is a job people feel like it's a burden It is a job because it's it's a form of creation You feel forced to do and to show up But if I have you guys I just tap in and be like, here's where I'm going.
Here's what I'm doing Give you some things and all magically unfolds. That's it. Right like that time saved is worth a lot more Then I could ever pay you for me. It's just messy because I've got these new peeps and I'm like, okay, I'm talking to too many people 30 days of skill to ship back and re re think.
Honestly, it's the same thing I said with my podcast where I was like, hold up. We just need to do a full. hard scale stop. Yeah. Reset. Yeah. Um, because no one's listening to me. I keep saying the same things over and over again. And then I just keep nodding my head and moving forward. Right. And I was like, full scale stop.
Well, have you seen the rebrand is like sexy on itself? Oh, I'm so jealous. Like I'm going to have to, yeah. Like that's. Well, I've never even paid, like, anyone to actually brand me because it's really easy to create a brand for yourself, you know? It is, yep. And then I was like, I don't know, let's like fuck around and see what happens.
And it, like, is actually really good. I wanted, and my website too, like, I wanted my website to, like, be a reflection of me. And I feel like it's, like, spot on. Yeah, when I, when I clicked on it, I'm like, oh yeah, that's Sam. Oh yeah. Mine definitely looks a little bit too proper. I wanted it to show me working too, you know, so like when people go, that was my main goal of the page was just like stupid fun, stupid Sam.
And then like, Oh, like you can see that she actually does this. Yeah, I think that's why I'm so jealous. Cause mine, my designer, when I hired for the rebrand last year, did a great job, but now I'm growing so much more into like, I am an artist at heart. I am here for the creatives and like my shit's not creative enough.
It's branding is really good though. Your brand is really good, but I want to like revamp the coaching side and like the speaking side and like, I just got to make it a little more work. You know, I think I went full scale whack, but you know, I had to have someone who could go full scale whack like even six months ago, if I would have been like, hey, I want to go full scale whack.
I hadn't met the girl that could do that yet. So everything is timing, you know, right? Well, now I know who I'm going to when I want to get that whack, put my whack up, get whacked up. That'd be a sticker. Did you just say someone whacked me? Whack me up. That could, you know, that could, that's probably like a bad word.
I don't know what that means though. I'm like, is it like, like mobsters? So you're going to get whacked? Or does that mean you're going to get like, Oh, maybe. Well now it's crazy. I'll figure something out. I just want to make it more fun. You know, the only thing my cell phone can do is it doesn't play like, the MySpace music.
Like, remember MySpace? Oh my gosh, MySpace. Ooh, that was a time in my life I'd rather forget. I don't, I don't know. I, I mean the time in my life was like not the best, Samantha. It was horrible, but the MySpace vibes were like, how fun was MySpace? It was like you could just build your own little website all the time.
That's exactly what it was. Yeah, we were like learning how to code in the back end, you know? Yeah, that's it. Yeah, because it's like, oh, here's the cheat if you want to get this color background and this padding. Like, oh, what? Yeah, one time I put up one that was like I'm picking up the pieces and moving on and My ex like totally lost his fucking mind over it.
Like it was one of those backgrounds I coded and it had puzzle pieces and it just said I'm picking up the pieces, but it didn't have anything to do with him. Like I was just like, oh it's cool because like I felt like I was trying to pick up my life as a single mom, you know? Well and subconsciously I was probably telling you something.
Yeah. I'm like, quick dad. You like flip the fuck out. And then I remember another time my friends, I had a couple of friends They did something that wasn't nice at all and they like knew it wasn't nice at all and I took them off my top eight
Apologizing she's like I know you're mad at us, but like I'm so sorry that we did that, you know Can you imagine if we just had like that scale all the time for people like even on your iPhone you whip them out and they're Just like they know whether or not they're in your top contacts Well, so I have people pinned, right?
Like, the text messages, but it has nothing to do with, like, they're my top person. It's just, like, who is constantly messaging me, you know? And, like, if they got a rating. Like, if someone pissed you off and, like, their stars went down, like, oh, shit. Who stars for Jessica today? Fuck! Like, now what do I gotta do?
Oh, man, I just, I don't know. I think there's, you know, that's probably part of the things going on in the world right now. Everyone's so concerned about, like, being on top. Like, being most visible, being most liked, being most Like, everyone kind of feeds in that whole, like, competitive vibe. I think people just need to learn how to fucking have fun.
And understand that, like, by being yourself, and by being, just focus on creating who you want to be, doing whatever the fuck you want, because your gifts are what's going to make the world a better place. Your gifts, and living your life, and your truth, and doing what everyone says aligned with you, but it's true.
If you're, like, how you're feeling right now, and vibing with, like, where you're going, and what you're doing, you're, say you're a delusional bitch, but that's only because Why do you use the word cunt? Oh, right. Delusional cunt. So, cause you're all DC in your universe. Oh, we can't say that cause it's a comic series.
Are we gonna move into Marvel next? Yeah, fuck, it's marvelous. So, it's just, I think people need to just be more of that. You need to become a delusional cunt. Because if you can't live in this li What's the point of living? If you're just gonna be fucking miserable and forced to do shit and feel like you can't do anything ever.
Then what, what is the point? Yeah, like we lose ourselves and we have outlets and we we find these little moments of escape in our businesses or in creating side tasks and projects or random hyper fixations because we're bored, because we're being forced to be a certain way like We, I remember thinking I had, like, if I was going to be successful as an artist, I needed to be, like, Devil Wears Prada, work for, like, a fashion magazine, get a job in, a fancy ass office, and serve, like, some bitch that wears stilettos, and, like, be worth something.
But, like, why can't I wear sneakers and be a rich fucking bitch in my comfies? Dude, I have on Nike sweatpants right now, and you know, Nike sweatpants are pretty spendy. They are pretty spendy, but they're fucking comfy. That's what I'm saying. Right? Like, we can be rich bitches that are comfy. Like, this feels good to me.
This shirt is for people, but. I'm wearing, like, no name, or probably, like, Ardene or Blue Notes leggings, and I'm okay with that. And this is a superstore sweater today. That's what I'm rocking. But. I think you have to ask yourself like, you know, if you wanted that, but like, what is it that you actually want, and it's a question I've had to ask myself over and over and over again to see how we just tied that all back.
Yeah. Well, what do you want? Why does it feel good? Like I like spending the money on trips and experiences. I like spending my money on, I am kind of a bougie bitch though. Like I really do like, I like my facials. I like getting my hair done. I like spending money on I like bags. Like, I have a suggestion.
I don't get bags at all. I'm like, I do not understand this. No, I mean like, Betsy Johnson, cutesy little designer y like bag thing. No, but I think even if bags are your thing, like, you know, you love the good Louie, or you love, like, the latest Coach purse, you know, I'm like, that's where you have to be like, this is the life, this is, the shit that I love.
If it's brightly colored, I'll want it. I don't care how much it costs. If it's brightly colored and it looks tacky, it's mine. I need to have it. I have this obsession with ghetto gold chains. Like the big ghetto link. Like, I have a plastic purse strap. I bought it at Target. It was like 15 bucks for one of my photo shoots.
It looks like a giant gold chain. I said to my husband, like, I'm gonna have a real fucking gold chain. And he's like, oh my god. He's like, why do you have to be so ghetto fabulous? Like, you're a cyberpunk ghetto fab fucking alien. Like, what is wrong with you? I love it. We hit like this cool milestone this year and I was like, I'm going to go buy a bag and I was like, I don't want a bag and we went and bought a trailer and I was like, yeah.
Right? Like, it's funny how we like, the value, like it's not, we're talking about value, but like, it's not about the money, it's about how it makes you feel. Yeah, well, my life isn't, I have a lot of really fun bags, but I definitely didn't go get them. You know, it's, you have to be like, what is success for me?
But I think you almost have to ask yourself that every fucking day, dude. Well, it's even like Dressenlala. Like, I love that shit. And I'm just like, why do I, why do I want it? I'm like, because it's cool fucking shit. And I can't just get it anywhere else. And I'm, you know, I like it. I like the prints. It's got aliens, it's got magic eight balls.
Like, I'm good. That's what I like. I love Dressenlala. I own a ton of Dressenlala stuff. And I was doing this thing where I'm like, I buy it, but then I'm like, oh, it's only to take pictures in, right? And my friend Amy the other day was like, yeah, she was like, why aren't we wearing all this stuff that we own?
And so she said, like, we're meeting to film on Thursday, but like, she's like, you have to show up as your alter ego. You, she's like, you have to put on something wild that's in your closet and show up as that person. And I'm all, Oh shit, dude. I have so many things. There could be so many versions of me.
Well, I actually remember having a training with someone. They talked about artifacts. And, because we have those different versions of ourselves. And I like to say frequencies, because, for example, when I'm in accounting mode, or I'm doing books or finances, I'm like a different version of me. It's a different part of my brain that I'm operating with.
Yeah, like being in there all the time. But usually when I'm doing that, I I don't, I have like my blue light glasses I don't wear, but I have things like, I'd rather tie to that, where it's like, if I put these on, this is the mode I'm in, it helps me focus and fixate, and I feel that way with certain outfits.
So sometimes I have to ask myself, right, look at those, those are fucking great. But like, are we saving it because we're not, like, put that on, it's a vibe, like if I wear my pink jacket, I'm in like, conference mode, like I'm ready, this is my, I can be social, like, because I've got the pink blazer on. Or am I putting it on because I feel like I have to put it on.
In order to see professional, like there's different reasons we wear things and I think saving something for later because you're worried about wrecking it or you're saving it because it costs a lot of money. So I'm worried about putting it on because the Dress Unwala, it's over the top, right? And anytime I wear anything from Dress Unwala, girls say stuff to me, which they're like, Oh my God, that's so cute.
It's not like you look dumb, you dumb bitch. But I get nervous because I don't know, like people are looking at you.
This is the longest podcast episode about nothing I've ever experienced, and I'm here for it. Like, I feel like I do that sometimes where I get in moods. Like, I remember thinking before I started these businesses, when I was leaving tattooing, like, I wanted to be Anonymous. Like, I would go to a grocery store, and I would, like, regret if someone came up to me, and I'd be like, I don't have makeup on, don't look at me, like, I don't look put together, and I don't, like, ugh, don't know who I am, right?
Whereas now, like, I don't give a fuck what I look like, like, hey! And it's, it's me showing up because I'm as myself, and I find when I'm dressed up for, like, photoshoot day, I think I should, like, make myself do that once in a while because it's like, I have these really cute outfits I coordinate, but I save them for photoshoot days, and it's the same thing.
That's what I'm saying! Why don't I have photoshoot day Jessica, and just, like, Fuck around and go shopping at the craft store. Go to a coffee shop. That's what I want to do. Look at me. Just be okay and be like, look at me. It's, oh, I think it's the shame of like that vanity aspect where it's like, you're asking people to look at you.
And for a lot of my life, if people were looking at me, I was being ridiculed or military background, like you're supposed to kind of like assimilate and not really stand out. I think for, I have this like constant confliction because like I do stand out, but I like hide at the same time. And it's like, no, I want to.
Fucking feel fine and feel like look at my shit. I have cool shit. This is what I look like I can remember like in fourth grade these girls making fun of me because I would always wear like The fun dresses with the bows like I had this huge bow collection And I think that's when I really started to turn it down, you know And they were always telling me I was fat too and I was like i'm not fat I remember like not I hated pink.
I would not wear pink when I was younger because I had blonde hair And people told me that I was trying to be like Barbie, and that my face looked like it was made of Play Doh, and I was like, chubby, and I wasn't Barbie, and I was fat Barbie, and all those things. And you're just like, oh, and then I wouldn't wear pink.
I was a tomboy. Um, also probably because like, I probably had an emotional connection. Dad was always away, he was in the military, so I would like, wear his shirts to school. And like that's what I did for years. And then all of a sudden when I embrace like who I am, like I am a girly girl. I am, but I don't, I'm a girly girl, but I was never good at being a girly girl.
I was never good at, I never felt like I was pretty enough or cool enough or were the right things all the time. I never fit in, right. I was always the new kid bouncing around, so I didn't know how to be like a pretty girl. So now it's just like, well, I'll just be fucking pink. And whatever makes me feel fine, I should just do that.
I love it. See, you know what? I got, he cares. Cause I got tired of people talking to me about it. I was like in the grocery store one time and this guy came up and he's like, why did you color your hair that color? And I was like, Whoa.
My hair is like, I don't know, it's in a transition, because I was doing super pink and now I think we're kinda I like this baby, like, pastel y pink. I know, I'm digging it! And like, part of me was fighting, because I'm like, well, I'm not pastel, but I kinda want the baby pink, but like a chunk of like because you know, like, I'm into seasonal, so February's coming up, this podcast is probably coming up before then, if not, maybe it's past.
But I want to put like a big red chunk, like I want color blocks. Oh. Random color blocks featured. I'm like, I'm blessed with super blonde hair, so I can kind of do whatever the fuck I want, but. Okay. I'll always be pink in it somewhere, but I'm just, I'm bored with just pink. I'm totally, I'm cutting my hair next week.
Are you? What are you going to do? I'm doing that choppy bob like this. So, I'm just like, I haven't loved my hair for a long time, so I was like, why not? That's hot. Probably can't say that. It's trademarked by Paris Hilton. It's going to look really good. I'm excited. Oh, I want to see pictures. I know I'm gonna get mine.
I think I'm gonna get some layers trimmed in because I didn't realize those looked in the mirror. I'm like, I don't have any and like, I have a lot of hair so it's like, heavy. Yeah, I have a lot of hair too and I think the problem is, is it's just like, getting like, stringy back there, you know? Just like, mine's fucking, like, look at this shit.
Like, what, what is this even? What's happening? Just think about this, okay? Like, swooshy. Like this, and then just like messy, I can't even handle it. And then with your like, oh, all the vibes. . I love it. You need like, you know the kissy lips on your website. Yeah. Like those is like big earrings with your fucking toss sleep.
I, so yeah. Okay. This is okay. Thank you for the . I feel so good right now. Right? Just had to like, I think the moral of like this whole conversation is just really aligning, like, do what you want, do what feels good, and just fucking, just, just be whoever the fuck you want to be. Do whatever the fuck works for you.
And I love your podcast name, so if you're listening, it's like, you're not part of the club, you know? Yeah. This is who you are now. Yeah, this is it. Like, you're just, get to be weird, wacky, and wonderful. Fucking let's go. Own it! Own your shit! Your magical Write it. We write it, Dawn. We write it, Dawn. The magic hour.
It's different than photography. Could we do, like, 11 a. m.? You know, 11, yeah, like, that's part of my scheduling shit. Because, like, anything before 11, it's a fucking chaos clusterfuck. Like, I need to drop the kids off. I need time for me to work out. That's been my big thing is I don't work out because I don't like fitting in at the end of my day.
And I don't like getting up at four o'clock to go work out, especially when it's cold. Cause I just struggle with my joint pain, but like 9am is prime for me. Like drop the kids off, go to the gym, get myself ready. And then 11. We're ready. I know, you don't have to get up at 5 to be fucking successful and healthy, dude.
And you don't have to do ice baths and all this shit, you know? I remember, like, 5am club, 5am club. I don't mind getting up at 5. 30 so I can have quiet to, like, sit and do my journaling and not have anyone need me for an hour. I like that. I like that. But when I get older, I probably won't get up at 5 30 a.
m. No, one of my themes in life is to set myself up for success always. So like, I'm always like setting myself up for growth and setting myself up for the day. And like this morning, I don't know, I like felt normally I'm like ready to go. And I was like, I'll take my son to school and go to the gym. My son comes in at 7.
30 and he's like, I'm late for school. He goes, I thought you were at the gym and didn't know where you were. No, I was asleep in my room. I had no idea it was 7. 30 in the morning. He was like, so distraught. He's like, are you okay? I'll be fine. I was just, just having a nap. Yeah. It was like, apparently I just was like dead.
Well, it's like last night, I, I guess I really needed the sleep. Cause usually like I hear my kids breathe and I'm like, Awake, which is really annoying, but last night I went to bed, and I did not wake up until It was like 10 to 6 when my alarm went off because I usually kind of lay there for 10 minutes For a whole hour.
Yeah, well I force myself to get up, because if I don't I can't have a shower alone, and like, poop alone. Yeah, yeah, I get that with little kids, yeah. Need that. So I was like, I literally, they were like, I could just lay in like, No, move now. Or shower with the door open in a three year old. Like, get up. So, I come downstairs and like, I went to wake Justin up at like 7.
like, why aren't you up? Like usually you're going to work by now. And he's just like, I was with Rory. Like he was up at 4, 8, like till 4 AM. And I was like, Oh my God, I didn't even hear him. Oh, you're just like living your best life. I'm just like, I had the best morning. Like the kids are all sleeping in. I had like two, almost an hour and a half to myself.
Like what's going on? Oh shit. You were up all night. Oh, no, sorry. It happened to me like two nights ago. So I have a college age student. She's in college. She lives at home and she, I don't know. I was like four in the morning and I was like, I could hear people and I'm like, what in the fuck is going on?
I'm like, I don't want to be that mom, but I'm about to throw down because I'm awake and I don't want to be. Oh, I was. I like, was like, what in the fuck is going on out there? What are you doing? Yeah, I'm like, I can hear you. The lights are on. You want to live at home? I don't want to hear you. You can do what you want, but like, don't, don't bother me.
Don't bug me. I love how our conversations always just like, topic jump.
All over, I love it. I have a live today with somebody, and she's like, What do you wanna, what are you planning out? And I was like, I don't, I don't, like, you invited me to this live, like, I don't know. Oh yeah, dude, if you're, no, no, no, no. That's not how this works. But you're live. Right? I'm like, she's like, well, yeah, what do you want to talk about?
What are you selling? And I'm like, what, what? I call that the circle jerk of like the podcast world. I know you're doing the live but it's like they just come on, they talk about themselves, they talk about like their bio, they talk about and then they like promo what they're selling and they just go around and do it on all these different podcasts.
That's, that's what made me not want to do a podcast because I was like I don't want to do that and then after like I met you and then I was listening to Tiffany and I'm like okay. I have something I want to say. I want to, I want to create a community. But it's weird because it's like one sided because they listen to me, but then that's why I have like the group.
But yeah, it's, I just feel like there's no shame. Like, I feel like there's shameless and selling and like, I think everyone needs to show up shamelessly and sell themselves and what they're doing, but you also have to be a human. Behind your business. Like I think, I think that's like my biggest like soapbox right now is like, I'm really big on building a brand.
My brand didn't take off. Same with like your website. If you need to have a personal brand that embodies you in your business, you are your business. Too many people like have this separation or like they have their brand is like their, their, their stage persona. And it's like, but that still needs to be a version of you.
No, I agree. Right. I could go on a fucking rant. No, I, my whole business philosophy is It's always setting myself up for success. So I'm one of the girls on my team was like, are you going to be cutting back? And I was like, no, because then I will be fucked. Like we're always setting ourselves up for success, you know?
So. The moral of the story here, folks, stop saving the best parts of yourself for special occasions, quit worrying about what you should be doing, and just go out there and do you.
That's what, like, that's how you're going to discover new ways to be yourself and honor your authenticity by actually creating kick ass content that reflects your kick ass life because you should be showing up as you are. who you are in every wonderful way that you are. On that note, much love and many blessings.
Until next time.
