JENN video MARCH
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[00:00:00] I would like to welcome Jen. Jen Dragonette. She is an incredible podcast producer and dear friend.
And I'm so excited to be chatting with today. Welcome Jen.
I am really excited to be here because well, you're magical and your energy is magical and I'm just grateful to be in your space. I can remember when I connected with you last fall and nothing's ever been the same since. That was, that was a magical time.
Couldn't have been a more perfect place either, perfect weather, everything. But it's fun when you get to meet people in person and feel their energy and their vibe and be like, oh wait, they really are the same person. Online. Or maybe they shine a little brighter in person than they even do online.
Anxious as shit, but still had a lot of fun. To come out of my shell when it's in person. You're like, Hi everyone! Are you like me? Cool. We're all weird and wonderful. I love it. Okay, great. I think we all have that. That feeling, you know, like it's hard when [00:01:00] you are online a lot, but you have a place like a location, like you have a brick and mortar, like you come out of your shell, you need to go into an actual place that was outside your home and interact with people.
Was it still scary to go to a mastermind? It was because my, my brick and mortar is just like an extension. It's just a room outside my home. So it's like people are just coming into this like space where I'm just weird and me, it's still like my space. Yeah. So it still feels introverted even though it's another building.
Whereas like going into an environment like that, like I didn't have my husband, I didn't have my kids. My mom came to LA but she wasn't with me. Like my mom goes to the first day of school, college, everything with me. Like I'm that person. Like I bring my mom everywhere. And if I don't have my mom, I have my husband.
So to show up and be like without anyone, I actually, that was the first time I realized, in my life actually, that I have, I didn't know who I was. And I'm so, like, rooted in self expression and bringing that out in other [00:02:00] people that I'm such a shapeshifter and I'm so good at adapting and being what everyone needs from me, but I didn't know who I was or what I wanted.
And then I was surrounded by other people and I'm like, I didn't know how to show up there because I didn't know anybody. And that's when I realized, I'm not prepared. I always prepare for who I feel I need to be in any given space.
Oh, so I'm gonna ask questions. I know there's an interview, but I have questions for you. Okay, can I ask you questions? You can do whatever, whatever you want. But so, again, this is most of our stories. I mean, I wrote the book about that, like not knowing who you were and showing up in places.
So I want to know when you showed up. And you started so for me, like I overpacked, I spent so much money on clothes that I ended up returning. Cause I'm like, I'm not comfortable in any of these. I went back to my old comfies, but. What did you learn about yourself? Started to uncrack this, I don't know who I am.
There had to be something that came after that. I gotta know all the things, you [00:03:00] know, it's funny. Cause it's led to like this other mastermind that I'm in and it's, it's led to me realizing. Cause I didn't realize what my own stories were. Like, I knew that I was like, oh yeah, I have anxiety, and I'm creative, and I'm an oddball.
You know, I was an army brat, moved around a lot, but I didn't realize that I was still fucking terrified. I was living deeply rooted in fear, and I thought I was pretty confident, but I was afraid, I'm afraid that when I'm away from my family, something bad will happen to me. I'm afraid I'll be sick, cause, um, I'm not safe, there's no one there that knows me or could take care of me.
What if I pass out? What if I get sick? What if someone attacks me? What if someone finds me? I don't know who, like, I just, I have this feeling that I'm not safe. unless I'm hiding. And it's really pushing through that, why do I not feel safe, led to me discovering when I talked in the podcast about how, I grew up with the belief with my dad in the army, like when he went away he wasn't coming home.[00:04:00]
Like we had to be ready for that. And the world is a war zone. And just all of this carried on and like multiplied. Then I had like, really shitty boyfriends, like beat the shit out of me and stuff. So like all of that, trying to help everybody but never saving myself. So for me it was a lot of It's like I didn't trust myself to be okay.
Unless I was hiding. But yet, I'm constantly fighting not to hide anymore. It was like a huge crisis. I'm going through like this huge freaking awakening., Ever since then. Blew my, blew my mind, blew my world up. That's good. We all need a blow up every once in a while. Well, then I started a podcast. And that's a whole nother level.
Like, I've always said, you know, and we were talking about this before you hit record is that I truly like, I'm the weirdo out there, which I will claim my weirdness is that I think podcasting is a healing modality because it's a safe place to show up. It's kind of like a mastermind surrounded by people that you want, you know, that are in [00:05:00] your space that understand you because it's a lot of work, not only for like the person that's hosting, but for haters to hate on you.
And it's a lot of time investment in listening to you. So they're, they're obviously your people that are hanging out with you because it's this like vulnerable place. And not only that, I want to know, , just because I'm curious is like throat chakra wise, I used to get like this lump all the time until I started podcasting.
Because now I'm sharing my story. I'm rediscovering things and I'm really excited about the mastermind that you're in because I'm like, I know those stories are going to be amplified and then we can amplify it even more on this podcast. And it's just going to be like magical tsunamis across the world.
Tsunamis. Well, it's funny because actually, in our call last week, she talked about a tsunami. And she's like, the more repressed it is, the more time it takes you to get there, the bigger that wave is, and the more damage that gets done. And I'm just like. [00:06:00] What? , it's been, even since working with you, I mean, working with you, because you're so much more than just a producer, like, we have some very good conversations.
You, like, even getting this thing launched, you coaching me through it, that was a ride. I remember I was getting sick, and then I went psycho, like, Christmas happened, I'm like, I don't think I can do this, I don't know why I'm doing this, because it's that voice, right? Like, I've always been too much, too loud, you know, tone it down, but to actually sit there.
We all say like, speak your truth in your content. Well, we do and we try, but there's a difference in making a post and a caption someone's reading, and sitting there and talking about how you feel and what you think in this moment, and being okay with the fact that in a year or two from now, you might fucking change your mind.
That content's still out there, and it's, I think so many people hide behind the fact if they change, they can delete or rewrite. The internet allows us that, like, anonymity. But when you're doing, I mean, I guess I [00:07:00] could delete a podcast, but that's just stupid. I mean, it's just you have a legacy content when you actually realize that you are leaving a mark.
And like my first YouTube videos in three years, I might be like, Oh, you know, Jessica's flailing on the floor with no lashes on. That's what I did. Maybe I'll still be doing it. Maybe I'll be like, maybe I'll have different equipment. Maybe I'll have a different setup. I mean, probably going to have like talk show style at some point because we're extra up in here, but you know, it's just being okay with the pivot and the change.
And before we hit record, I was saying I want to change the format a bit. This podcast feels like it's been going on a long time, because so much has happened and I've processed so quickly. It's just part of my, who I am. Like, my, one of my numerology numbers being a five is I'll experience a lot. In a short time frame and I can go through like life changes within one to three years that people take 15 years to go through like there have been many versions of me, and I find with this podcast [00:08:00] it's like, you know, I want to take this more in the direction of like those activities on Mondays like more.
Instead of just giving an activity for someone to do, it's like, here's my reflection, here's my affirmation, and here's what I'm working with this week, and inviting people to come along the journey with me, and have more conversation, and more connection. Because I'm created this sorority for like a safe space for us to share, but it's brought me so much, like, it's so cathartic.
It's brought me so much deeper in my reflection that there's not enough two way, and now I want to bring more people into that, which is why I've invited you because you were, you were damn book on it. So there's that,
I wrote the damn book and then I pulled it down from him. I became a bestseller. Then I pulled it down from Amazon and said, Oh shit, this is scary. Oh fuck. Okay. Hide, hide, hide. Right now I'm rewriting and now I'm rewriting it. Cause I mean, I, I feel like everybody I've talked to. That has been like in this deep heart centered space of like healing has been like, Oh my God, like January was like a year.[00:09:00]
I don't know what happened, but like January was a freaking year long. And it's just been changed after change after change. And I like, there is something shifting on this planet that I really think that collectively there's, I mean, I'm still figuring it out because I've been hiding my like witchy side for The majority of my life because when I was young and did energy healing, like we're talking three, like old beta videos of me doing like Reiki, not knowing it was Reiki, like energy healing on my grandpa when he was sick.
And then people in the background being like, Oh, you're crazy. What are you doing? That's not real. And like shutting all of that down. And then we're talking about religion and then getting thrown into like religion. And that being a terrible experience, like everything that I had that was connected to this, Not of this planet energy was hurtful to me.
So , as we're coming out, I feel like collectively there's a lot of us that are leaning back into who am [00:10:00] I? and our stories are someone's life raft. That's why the book's called Your Story is Someone's Life Raft. My podcast, your podcast is someone's life raft.
And you were talking about pivoting. And I think that it's cool. Not only for you, but for whoever's in your space to see the pivots. And it's safe because we boxed ourself in and this hustle society is like boxed, boxed, boxed, boxed, boxed. And you feel like you can't go outside this box because you'll lose everything.
Well, it's the realization too that we're never going to be good enough. We already feel that way and we're striving to be better and to be good, but you're never going to be good enough because we're fucking crazy. Like our standards and expectations are up, but they're off the charts. It's not attainable in this human life, in this human form.
And that's the human lesson is to be okay with not being okay. And be okay with being wherever the fuck you want to be at any given time, because that's our purpose is to activate and awake. Otherwise what's the, what's the point. Yeah. What's the point of being here and being human. And we can't save humanity if we keep hiding who we [00:11:00] are.
Like we've all seen the sci fi drone movies. There's already AI. Like, we need the humans. Can we just embody humanity? Side note, if AI takes over and there's sentient robots chasing us through cornfields, like, I'm giving up. I'm just not running forever. Just so everyone knows. I'm not doing it. I will join you.
I'll polish your chrome. Can we just be friends? Because I ain't running. I ain't running. Maybe we can get some cool, like, color wraps or something and, have them self express their sentient robot beings. , that would be our purpose. We would just keep bringing out the creative, uh, creative aspect of it.
Or, like, put me out of my misery. Because I ain't, I ain't running. Yeah. I can understand that. And. I think that like, not only that, but it's, it's the time too. So like, we laugh about that, but that's like, what's happening right now. You can either keep running or you can, lay down, surrender and find a way to fit in that feels good to you.[00:12:00]
That's like, this is peaceful enough for me to want to stay on this planet. And you know, it's dropping the drama. It's dropping the drama because our brains so badly want to understand and research and learn and know everything about the situation or the thing that we're doing, that we don't surrender to the moment and then we feel guilty.
And ashamed because we missed it and we're always like feeling like we're losing time. We're either we're falling behind or we can't hold on to time. Especially when I had my children, like time, time goes by way too quickly. And it's something I've always struggled with. Like I get very anxious and like freaked out about it.
Like if I could hoard it, I would. And we all feel that way. We all, It's what nostalgia is. Like, that's why we hoard photographs and we have all of these albums of photos that we hardly ever look at in our iCloud. Like, we just, we take pictures of everything in every moment because we know that we could lose our minds, we could get dementia, we could, we could forget and move on.
Like, if we don't remember, it doesn't exist. And like, that messes with [00:13:00] somebody. But what if we just are? It's hard not to think of all that and to just drop the drama and just be. Like, it's funny you hid being witchy. I mean, I feel like in a past life, one of my witch versions of myself was persecuted, so I feel like I do have some things where I'm like, okay, don't be too weird, don't be too witchy.
But I mean, look at me. I got like runes on my face, like you know I'm witchy. It's not really hidden. I feel like I try to hide it, but it's like, it's not. Like, I have like, I have a friggin mob with a cleaver. Come on. Like, it's just, it can't be hidden. I'm weird. We know this. So, you're trying to hide witchiness.
And like, I, I do Reiki too, and energy healing. We're all energy workers. We're light workers. And this is where I found that interesting connection. It's where I actually feel more shameful, and embarrassed or hiding the fact that I'm exploring relationship with God because I am a witch and I do the holistic side.
So who am I to explore that if I don't know the entirety religion? [00:14:00] Like the stories I told myself is I don't, I don't understand the difference between what Catholicism or baptism or this is I don't know she don't know shit about fuck. I don't know nothing. I know art history I know where it went from like Greek gods to like Jesus hanging out with them and then everything switched over in Roman times I studied all that but I don't know what it means and there's so many labels and so much drama Why can't we just enjoy the divine connection to whatever divine frequency we're tapping into?
Like, I can tap into, you know, really the All Father, Odin, still a divine energy. It's probably the same, look at Allah, you look at all the history texts. I'm not here to, like, tell anyone who's right or wrong. By any means, but like, it's all a divine, creative source energy that's bigger than who you are right now, and it connects everyone.
So, if we stop labeling it, and lean into where we're feeling drawn to explore, [00:15:00] why do we feel so embarrassed or ashamed? If you're leaning into energy and healing work, you're a lightworker. And as I was mentioning to you, I'm like, to me, Jesus is a lightworker. You look at like in, druidism Lou, like Lu Fonza in the summertime.
Like he was, he was an activator, right? There's all these ascended masters throughout history and time who are all lightworkers. But if we stop dwelling on it and overanalyzing it and arguing about it, who gives a shit? You can believe in all of it. None of it. Two of them, four of them, how it relates to us and what we do with that.
That's what creates our story. That's what creates our drive. And you can lean into one and be like, Nah, like I was telling you. Like, I leaned into the Muslim religion. I read the Quran. Wasn't for me, but I explored Ramadan. My, my kidneys didn't like it. Ended up in the hospital. I tried it. Didn't fully understand it, but [00:16:00] I tried it.
You know, who are we to, does it make us wrong? No. I mean, I'm sure I didn't, I don't think I'll ever do it right because I'm not fully immersed in it, but I've hung out with other people who are Muslim and in the community and tried my best to understand because I feel like that's part of the experience.
How can you ever really understand perspective or where anyone's coming from if you're not listening and willing to try and see it from their point of view? We get so lost in who we think we need to be or whose energy we need to match. You Like, do you ever meet somebody and you're just like, you know, like when I walked into this mastermind, like, I'm not prepared, who's energy am I to match, like, who do I need to be when I'm here, but like, you just have to be you.
But do you ever just like shift where you're like, oh, they want me to be like this, I'll be this today. Do you ever do that? And then I have to, like, work it back. Oh, yeah. I'm a I am a chameleon through and through, like, all my life. I've been the one that's, connected [00:17:00] to let's say high school.
Everybody has their little cliques. Well, Jen hung out with every clique. I would wear Wranglers. I would wear the cute, like, skater shoes and the skater belt. And then I'd wear, the preppy shirt. With, like, the cute, trendy necklaces and stuff. And I would literally float from every Group to every group because I could, I could chameleon into any, I mean, I was on the football team, I was the varsity center on our football team.
Like I could float, like I could chameleon into anything. And I think it's good and bad. And like, going back to your religion thing, I think like when you look at the core of all of it. We were talking about this before. It's, it's love. It's some divine extra thing that we are giving this, you know, like connection to, and what happens for me, because I came out of religion.
I've had some serious religious, like, religion trauma that came from it. But I tried on all the religions. I put my, you know, my Catholic pants [00:18:00] or my Catholic dress on, like, I went to, you know, temple, like, I tried it all. And I got forced into a Seventh day Adventist school because I got asked to leave public school because I had too many fights.
But what the core of everything is the same. It's like, give yourself to this higher power, allow yourself to be in this form of love, love thy neighbor. And then what happens is as soon as you put a title of religion on. It seems like what you were talking about, everybody else is out. Well, then how am I loving my neighbor?
Just because my neighbor is and it's the same religion. And it happens in every walk of life. You see it in everything. And it's like, well, the core that we're all seeking is that love thy neighbor, but we're so afraid of thy neighbor, or we're so in fear of having ourselves judged that we hate our neighbor, you know, and it's just, it's everything.
It's, it's like, in religion, it's in social media, it's in every part of your life. It's that fear piece comes [00:19:00] up, and I think that that's what it is, is the fear. This is what I understand. You don't know exactly what I understand, so I'm out. And it's like, Yeah, like, statuses. You look at high school, you look at work, it's the same thing.
Where do you belong? Who do you belong to? We're, we spent all our lives trying to fit in, so we're chameleons, we're shape shifting, and we're very similar. Like, I remember having the jeans. Having the belt, having the skate shoes. I remember wearing, like, my hair in my face, though. Because, like, I wouldn't show my face.
I had very bad acne. But, like, I would I was I was friends with everyone. Enemies of no one. But I never felt I fit in anywhere. Like, I I could No one hated me. But I was also angry, like, you said you picked fights, like, yeah, I got ragey, I got ragey and bitchy, and then I was gangster as shit for a while, when I ran away, super hardcore, not really like I thought I was, because we all think we're indestructible, and then I just rebelled, but that's the resistance and the [00:20:00] anger, and I think what's interesting is, When we talk about guilt and shame, I have this immense guilt for all those who knew me when I wasn't a very kind version of myself.
And I beat myself up constantly for like, people's lives I would have affected with like, when I spit venom, like that shit corrodes to the soul. Like, I, I, I could be, we all can be. We can all be terrible and like the things I've said to my mother, like my mom's my best friend, I love my mom, but the things that I've said to her, like stuff like that comes up and you're just like, how could I have ever said or done something like that?
You know, and I think a lot of it too, like when we're healers and we're heart led and we're light workers, there's so much put on us. early in life where we're put in this survival mode, right? And that's exactly part of this course that I'm going through right now is dealing with that because I only just realized after that mastermind and now like, do I even know who I am?
Because [00:21:00] my whole life has been survival mode. Like we go through these traumas and we don't know who we are because as long as we're performing and we're appealing and we're, you know, we're fitting in some kind of box in some way, even though we're dying inside. And we go home and we just fall apart.
The people closest to us, we feel like we're a burden because we're just, we feel like psychopaths. But there's like this shame because we do get angry. Like I'm all love, light, and wonder, but there's like, you know, I have a hormonal upswing or I'm going through a moment. And I'll start screaming at my pillow.
And you're like, why? Because the pillowcase didn't go on easily? And that's where you sit there and go, okay, something's out of alignment here. I'm gonna grab my pink opal. And we're gonna go sit down and take a minute. Like, it's having the tools to work through it and recognize what to do with these emotions.
But so many of us even hide that. We don't want to admit it. Oh, we're just fun! It's like, no, we're also fucked. Like we're, we're fun and we're fun. We have to be okay with both. If we can't accept [00:22:00] where we are and what we're learning and where we're going, that's where we get stuck and we don't pivot. We don't try new things because we feel like there's something wrong with us.
There's nothing wrong with us. We don't know what the fuck we're doing. You know, everyone hates on their parents and traumas they went through, but at the same time, I have to remind myself, I watched my parents grow up. They didn't have tools or access to things that we do now, and sometimes all the tools and access to the things we have are causing more anxiety.
So, there's, there's never a perfect or ideal situation here, it's just being okay. It's just showing up as we are. I think everyone's being called right now to just really dive in. Everyone's preaching authenticity, but nobody's actually doing the inner work. And nobody's actually looking at what it means.
It's like, oh yeah, I have trauma. Let me share the trauma story. What are you doing about it? What are you learning from it? What is, how is it affecting you? Like people just go, oh yeah that happened. It's like okay, but like I can talk about what happened for years over and over. It's [00:23:00] only until now at 37 years old.
I'm not 37 yet. That's in April. I do this all the time. 36 still. But I'm 36 years old and it's like I'm only just really now unpacking that shit. Yeah, like you're going through major life changes and you're your energy shifting, right? And like our minds just like you've relaunched in some stuff. What are you got going on?
Like I know there's been a huge shift I've seen it in you and I felt it in you and you've got like I've seen you on the Facebook's you go on about What you've got going off your projects because you said you're rewriting your book you're doing all this stuff Like it's just like we're being blasted into this new level up Yeah.
So well, I'm going to tell like how it happened because I don't want people to think that like this just started. So it really was like a stem of my podcast, like in through and through, I launched my podcast because I didn't feel that I deserved the oxygen in the air because other people deserved it more than me.
And I was praying every night to not wake up. Like I couldn't end my life [00:24:00] because of my mom and my dog. I was like, yeah. I don't need to be here because there's no point. Anyways, fast forward, met somebody from my podcast, ended up in Costa Rica. And again, back to that, I didn't know who I was. Finally, I was like last year, some mutual friends of ours, when I went to Vegas to hang out with them, that people that you met, they hung out the mastermind.
Also, on my way out the door, my soon to be ex husband came out and I just looked at him and I'm like, I'm done. And then I drove away and went to Vegas. I mean, that's pretty epic. I mean, it was, it was like, I got there and the girls looked at me. They're like, Jen, you look different. Cause I had just hung out with, Samantha Parker two months before I turned 40.
I went to visit her in Utah. And I was like, oh my God, like. This is I was hiding, like I was confused. I was hiding one of the best things I ever did for myself. And then when I got there, they're like, Jen, you look so different. And I'm like, well, [00:25:00] I did just ask my husband for a divorce. And they're like, what, when?
And I was like, well, like five hours ago, they're like, what? And then you got on a plane. Yeah. And so I've been kind of unfolding these things of like, okay. What am I doing? What am I doing? So back to relaunching the book is that there's so much pieces that are missing still because I was still hiding.
We keep uncovering things. So as soon as I got this power to like, leave this kind of very toxic situation, , I realized more of who I am. I'm like this , powerful person that's bright and cheery and I'm not somebody that's meant to be Just in the corner, like BC before husband, his name starts with a C, BC, I was the, the bubbly Jen, the fit in the always make friends, the you're the wallflower.
I'm going to help you come out of your shell. That's why I love podcasting. So. I've been launching [00:26:00] all these things. I've been creating courses like nobody's business. I've got like 37 courses created. Woo. Yeah. Right. But how many of them did I sell? I posted once. It's good enough. Right. So fast forward to now.
Yes. I'm rewriting my book. Your story is someone's life raft. I'm hoping to have it out by the end of April 2. 0 version. Not changing the cover because I'm obsessed with the cover. And I'm launching, helping people launch. I have had never had more fun than working with a group of people to launch podcasts at once.
The ones that can't afford to do production or they're choosing not to afford. To have a producer helping them launch, helping them learn to fish, helping them get out their voices out in the world so that we can stand in our powerful stories. And I mean, it's been crazy. Like the things that have been like magnetized to me since I'm like stepping in and I'm taking charge of my life.
And actually today is like big move out day. [00:27:00] So like the rest of the afternoon is going to be lots of commotion because everything's moving out of my house. It is my house now. And. Yeah, so I'm really leaning into, I have magic, like you were talking about, there's this whole coaching piece, like I am not a pod.
I am a podcast producer. I am a podcast planning and development strategist, but that's not really what I am secret. No, you pulled me outta my shit. I, and I've done it with so many people. I've helped people go from essential oils to starting a 501c to help people in human trafficking. I mean, there are so many things that you can awaken when you start to use your voice.
We don't use our voice. Go over there. You're tired. Take your shoes off. You sound like an elephant coming down the hall. Oh my God. Don't put your perfume on. It smells like shit. You know, like, Oh, worthless teenager. You're not doing the dishes the right way. Like it's, it's. It's stepping out into your shell.
[00:28:00] And I am really good at helping people find an easy way to launch their podcasts and just rediscover themselves. I'm rediscovering myself all the time. Dude, this podcast has led me down a fucking side quest, but the side quest became the main quest. Who knew? Right? I want to know a little bit about that because it's, it's the story that you hear from everyone who's doing podcasting for the right reason.
If you're coming into this and you're just like, I just want to make a shit ton of money. and that's your forward focus, not serving, you're not going to make it. But if you want to serve and then have a side of money coming in, that's where the magic happens. Full disclosure, I don't even know how to monetize my podcast.
I just hired you and was like, I want to talk and money will come when it's ready. Because like, I, I still don't understand it. Because that's, you know, I'll get there, but I'm more on the, the quest that's actually opened up for me. And it's hilarious because the intention of the podcast was for, to help others as [00:29:00] everything heart led, or the intention is to like, I need to do this, I need to save the world, I need to help people, I need to do this.
And then you realize, oh shit, there's more here for me. And by me doing this, I become more available. It's kind of like the healthy mom. The more you take care of yourself, the better you can be for your children, which is actually funny because they even, this was my jam when the pastor in church was going on about this.
That's my first time in church, didn't know what to expect, but he was talking about how we pass down our patterns, basically ancestral trauma and healing, like taking responsibility for your healing. And if you continue to choose to do that, like you're not perfect as you are, like everyone tells you, Oh, you're perfect just the way you are.
You're not perfect. just the way you are. You are who you are meant to be right now, which is worth celebrating. But there are lessons to be learned here, and if you don't take responsibility for yourself and how you choose to grow, you're not going to get anywhere. You're just going to keep repeating and repeating.
Like, we have to be responsible for our own [00:30:00] forgiveness. Because all those triggers, when I get mad at a pillowcase, or I get mad at something stupid, like tech sets me off. Tech makes my eye twitch. Tech makes me mad. But it makes me mad because usually I'm trying to fit something in quickly. Before I make dinner or fit something in quickly before the kids show ends And then I'm pissed off because I should have been sitting down and watching Bluey with them.
It's only eight minutes Why am I doing this in that eight minutes? I know this is not my work time That's what fuels the rage, but that's what I'm trying to help other people realize How am I supposed to help other people realize that if I can't walk myself through it? Like, we're all learning to lead with love, and that has to include us.
Or we're just repeating the same patterns, the same cycle, the same story, in a new fucking language. Which doesn't get us anywhere. And then we talk ourselves out of everything, because That's just what we do, and then we have to come back to it, but I love the big shift for you, and I love how you [00:31:00] like, just reclaimed your power in your life, and it's funny how we were always kind of like, there for everyone, not for ourselves, and it's like, it's been explosive, like, nah, now is the time, and I've seen this in almost everyone lately, it's just been going through this massive shift, and it's, Like, whether it's planets aligning, the moon, whatever, I mean, we just had a full moon, but that shit drove me nuts, cause, oh man, daughter was sick, things were happening, nothing was getting done, but the lesson with the full moon is I was put in an end to always having to be in control and micromanage everything, because it is working for me.
Like, do you realize how little we actually trust ourselves? Like, we're control freaks and we manage everything, but we don't actually trust ourselves. to trust the work that's been done, the work that we're doing. Half the time it's because we're still hiding, subconsciously, even if we're not aware of it.
Oh, I'm not there yet, and [00:32:00] if I sit too quiet and too still, I'm gonna have to deal with this thing. I should probably go deal with that thing. And it's really hard to be okay with not knowing what's coming next, because we love to control what's coming next. We can see it for other people, but when it comes to ourselves, we overanalyze it and don't understand it.
Or ignore it because we don't want to. And that's part of the busy culture, right? Is like, I created all these courses. I've rebranded a million times. I've done all these things. And it was like the other day as I sat, because things are big, major shifts are changing. Like I'm becoming single after lots of years, you know, like, Oh crap.
I'm a single income household in California. Oh boy, here we go. And I've been thinking and I allowed myself to just. do the bare minimum for two days, bare minimum to like feed myself. And [00:33:00] I literally just sat on my couch with my dog. That's hard. TV bothered me, like everything bothered me. And I was like, Oh my goodness.
So first off, like my name, like with coming back to like business stuff, I'm like, my name is like Jennifer Rose Dragonette. Why have roses and dragons never been part of my business? Like, why am I creating all these things outside of myself? And they're both perfect representations of me, like a rose, it's beautiful and it can bring joy and it can bring love and it's a symbol of love.
But if you pick it, it's pretty thorny if you don't take care with it. And then same with the dragon, you get puffed the magic dragon or I'm gonna breathe fire on your face and you better get the fuck out of my way. So like these are perfect representations of myself, again, but I've hidden them. So I was like, you're unfolding and going through these and you got that beautiful, I mean, terrible.
I'm like, so sorry that you had to spend that much time. But that [00:34:00] time that you got to step back, like when we're forced to step back, I used to get sick all the time. And my body's like, okay, good to slow down. Here you go. Double pneumonia. Oh, we're going to throw in a sinus infection. And then we're going to give you kidney stones all at once.
We are going to stop you in your tracks. We need to learn to do that. Even for micro parts of day, our days, and I think that's why you start discovering yourself. That's why I was able to discover myself more in Costa Rica. Like my phone didn't work. Wi Fi was only in like one little part of this resort.
Yeah. And I was like, this is magic. Yeah. That, that's a realization right there. Even landing in the LA airport, my phone wasn't working. And that moment it's just like, everything is on my phone. And when I was disconnected, I'm like, I don't know where to go. I don't know who I am. I don't know anybody's number.
I'm just here. And then that's the realization, I'm just here. I'm just here. So [00:35:00] what am I going to do with it? And I think it's interesting, you have all these courses, and you're going through all this stuff we're always creating outside of ourselves, and that's something I touch on with the Sorority and with the Mystic Sisterhood, because when we are multi passionate and we are creators, It's hard enough to create for ourselves because then we're pouring into ourselves.
So we have like little creative outlets or hobbies or if we're creative in the form of productivity because it's for a business or something we can bring into the household or get validation through, we can pour ourselves into it because there's, there's an underlying It's an underlying validation to it.
Like, I can be super productive because this will matter, but it doesn't matter if we don't reconnect with it in order to energetically sell and embody and push it out there and put our work into the world. We can, we can be the artist with the studio hoarded full of paintings, hyperfixations, the craft room that's just full of like thousands of dollars of shit, speaking from experience, but then never actually doing it, or we are doing it not selling it.
And it's like, we feel guilty monetizing something that we have a natural [00:36:00] knack for, that we enjoyed, because then we're making money off of our joy. We can't make money being joyful. We can only make money by doing hard work. Because, \ there's this weird disalignment that goes on, but yet we can give everything to anyone for free, because our gift is to heal, and to monetize our gift to heal and connect.
What is that? So it's, it's really, that's why I just did the Love Love bomb and like love your money because again that divine love whatever you want to label it Love is love and if we just drop the drama and tune in to the energetic frequency that we need and that we resonate with And that we want to amplify that's where the magic happens and that's where so many of us get lost because we just Get stuck into the dark and the silence and we just there's too many voices in our head There's too many voices outside of us We're always being told what not to do what not to wear like you said the perfume or the shoes But like who are you when you're [00:37:00] vibing?
With how you're feeling. Who are you when you're just feeling all kinds, when you do like your live launching and you're like, Yes, like these people are excited and you're helping them, like that feeling when you're helping somebody, that feeling you get knowing that they're getting what they need out of it, like that's a drug.
For me, it's seeing that change. Like, can you resonate with that? Like, it just like, Oh yeah. It's like, Oh, and it's not so much the validation. It's feeling it when you get that reciprocal connection just for a minute. Like when someone messages me like, Oh my God, listening, I think recently as my time hacking masterclass, someone messaged me like I'd made these changes and like all of this has happened for me.
And like, in that moment, it wasn't even about getting a written testimonial. It was just like, Oh my gosh, what I was saying and teaching made a difference in this person's life in a week. Like, when they get a set of brows and they leave, like the look on their face, the sparkle in their eye, the way that they carry themselves is different.
Even like areola work especially, you have [00:38:00] people come in and they're like, Check it out, fine, like, whatever, I've had enough hands on me, whatever, and then they get areolas and all of a sudden they're wearing a bra again. And they undress differently, and they hold themselves differently, they value their body in a different way, they feel different about themselves.
All we want to do is make people feel better, so why is it that we get so stuck? When we have to make ourselves feel better. Because usually as children, we were forced to grow up too fast. We were forced to, I just think we're just put in these situations where our parents, I'm not shaming my parents, like I had good parents.
My dad was in the army, so like, he was in the army. He was gone. And my dad's kind of like a bushman. He just, I love my dad. I know he loves me, but he's doing his own thing. But we can repeat like a broken record, the things that we need from people. And I had a therapist tell me that when I was going through postpartum, just keep repeating, be the broken record.
That's more traumatizing to keep asking and never receive. What you're looking for. You have to learn to accept and be [00:39:00] okay and like realize that you need to do it for yourself because being the broken record isn't going to make you feel any better. You're just reliving the trauma every time you're rejected, but yet you're so desperately seeking the salvation for this person to recognize you, to give you what you're looking for, to say, Oh, I'm sorry, it's okay.
Well, in a lot of situations, you're not going to get that. It's so funny you bring that up because on last Wednesday, when I was talking to my therapist, that's exactly what we were talking about. They're like, how many times do you ask? Like the women, you, as a woman, we get like, you're an egg, you're an egg, you're an egg.
And it's I'm asking you for things that I need, that I want. And they said, I forget his exact words, but it was like, They're either completely naive and can't do the thing, or they don't care enough to do the thing. And when it was like, they don't care enough to do the thing. It was like one of those, I [00:40:00] cried for hours.
He couldn't get me to stop. He's like, I gotta go to my next client. And I'm just like, I can't even function. And it's we spend so much time externally validating everybody. They're not gonna do it. But if you're the one that you're asking yourself for things. Like, let's flip it to the self love side.
If you're the one that doesn't care enough to listen to your own needs, like, why would anyone else? Well, yeah, I remember a teacher in school said that it's like, if you don't believe in yourself, then why should anybody else? And that's always resonated with me, but like, I never really hit me until recently.
Like if my daughter looks at me in the next six years and tells me that she feels her needs are unmet and she feels alienated and she feels the way that I did when I was two 10 or 12 years old, that would destroy me. I can't allow that for her. So why am I not allowing that for my inner [00:41:00] child? There's a version of her in me.
She is me. She's a reflection of me. She shows me some shit. But like, why don't we? Like, we know, we know we can hustle, grind, and show the fuck up. But we just, all we need to do is decide that we're worthy enough to do it for ourselves. That we are not broken. The decisions we've made, the things that we've done, do not define who we are today.
They're just history. They're just history. It's a lesson learned. It's like when I'm, I always send, send a podcast to a coach I had told me, you either get the lesson you needed, or the result you wanted.
Man, I've had a lot of lessons. So many lessons. When, So many. We love to learn, but like, fuck. Sometimes, it's , do I need to be smart? Sometimes I wish I was the bull mastiff dog that's just oh, life is fine. But no, here we are. We're like the fucking terriers of the world.
That's what's going on. Oh, but a lot of us that are meant to be healers, that's that's our design. That's we're meant to go through things [00:42:00] so that we can deeply understand. And then I feel for me, like, for me, it's like 40 years of really crappy lessons, like, really, really shitty, shitty, shitty lessons, both internally, what I've done to myself, and externally, what's been done to me.
And I feel like as I hit 40, it was like, there was like this, it like closed that book. Like my human design is, I'm supposed to be a martyr and a role model, and I'm like, this is an ass, this is kind of an asshole thing I gotta do. Why do I gotta be a martyr to be the role model? But I feel like the first 40 years were the martyr years, and now it's time to step into the role model.
Right, and I love the book reference, because you are writing a book, this is the end of the book. So when do we pick up the pen and just start writing? Writing the story that we want it to be instead of just listening to it is today. Today is a fucking day It's full moon happen. So new moon's going to what virgo or some shit like that.
Now's our time You're the dragon. Let's [00:43:00] fucking go rar. I don't have a dragon. So, you know, there you go My husband's a dragon. No wonder we get along Well, I'm a dragonette. Like, my last name, I was born with the name dragonette, little dragon. So like, hello! Let's go in. Meet Puff. Oh, there's some, right? Meet Puff.
Puff, Puff. Oh my goodness. That's a good place to end it today. Like, that's a great note. Like, when are you going to decide, for anyone who's watching or listening, like, you need to decide. To start writing the stories that you want to leave behind as your legacy and that you want to be telling yourself and create those as the voice in your head.
Because the voice in our head are from other people and things that we've thought about ourselves as we're growing up. But like, we can unlearn. They're always going to be there. You can't just be like, But we can unlearn what we're focusing on. We can turn the volume up. On the different audio books of our lives, like we, we can tune in to whatever we want to hear.
So why don't we start listening to our own words and our, it's like our own podcast in [00:44:00] our brain. Like we just need to, we just need to choose, tell our own story, be our own story and be okay with changing it. I think that's something that people don't talk about enough. Be okay with refining and rewriting and repurposing and re redesigning.
Like you can change your mind at any given moment. So you can change your story at any given moment. Your history is your history. And you can shine the light on whatever parts you see fit, right? Like, look at documentaries. Documentaries are extremely, like, one sided because they only shine the light on the pieces that serve the story.
You can do the same thing with your history. Stop looking at the shit that you're so upset about. Look at the shit you want to celebrate. Like, you had 40 years of martyr? Well, you fucking had 40 years of surviving, and now you get to be whoever the fuck you want, because you're done with that shit. Like, that shit's over.
Yeah, I told somebody the other day, I'm like, Mike, drop Jen out. Like, [00:45:00] and it's true. You get to choose. And you, and then once you choose and you go through it, if you want to shine the light on those some, some of those past stories like you were talking about before, you shine the light on them, but you show how to move from them instead of just being the one side of this was crappy.
It's like now you get to shine a light for someone else. Again, this is how I am a life raft. This is what I learned, and this is how I moved out of it. There's a lot of like, on the internet, you should, you should, you should, you should, and that's something I've learned. I always feel like I have to say, you should, you should, you should, you should.
And it's like, no, here's what I've done. Cause that's what I want to know, I don't know what the fuck they did. When you're looking at someone that's like, you idolize or inspires you, what did you do? How are you okay? Did you ever feel this way? Yeah, here's what works. It might not work for me, but I'd like to know their journey.
We love stories. We're humans So instead of preaching to me about what I should do Tell me what you did so [00:46:00] I can decide and try out what works for me So I know I like to know the worst case now when I was pregnant I wanted to know the bad things that happened because if they survived bad shit, then my anxiety was like, okay So if any of those complications occur, I know someone that survived it like that's I'm worst case scenario girl You Now it's not ideal.
I don't recommend everyone go down this deep, dark road of worst case scenario and everything in your life, but it's led me to realize very rarely am I in this worst case scenario start. We need to start celebrating the fact that we're not, in the worst case, we're prepared, but we're not in it. So we don't need to make ourselves feel like we're in it 24 7.
I'm preparing for it. We just have to know it exists and move on. 100%. Start rewriting the story today. Rewrite the story today. Today. Make good choices. No, I'm just kidding. It's okay to fuck up. Just learn from it.
