On today's episode of The Sorority, I am very excited to welcome Dahlia. She is a nervous system regulation specialist and holistic healer.
She mixes both holistic and medical. Connecting all the pieces, which is why I wanted to welcome her on the show. She's actually a friend of mine I've met through some other containers. We've been in each other's world for a couple years now, I believe. And I absolutely adore her.
So I'm going to let her take a minute to introduce herself and a little bit more on what she does.
And we're just going to gab. We're going to get into it because there's so many moving pieces and so much to talk about. I love that. And thank you so much. I absolutely love this conversation with you, no matter what is going to happen, because I know it'll be supportive, also for your audience. And I do hope that your audience is able to, I always give lots of tools and tips and tidbits.
So it's just like, listen to the end. There's a lot of information. Yes, my name is Dahlia Brown Shook, I am owner of Holistic Medical Healing, and my, my purpose really here is to help the spiritual empath learn how to balance and regulate and embody everything that they want to embody, physical, emotional, and spiritual.
So I help move people from anxiousness to thriving, from survival to thrival, to thriving. And I do that with a multi modality approach using my background in a traditional healthcare model in the States with the holistic, the integrative medicine, which is also part of my training and putting it all together is truly how we learn how to thrive.
What would you like for me to share next? Let's talk a little bit more about when you say for the empath, I really want to touch on empath because so many people, there's kind of two sides. Some people are like, I'm empathic and I'm sensitive and I feel everybody and I'm here to heal them. And then it's the realization that empathy, like that kind of empath comes from usually deeper rooted trauma, misunderstanding.
And when we're divergent and we're kind of doing all the things, we get lost in these versions of identification. And that's what's leading into this increased dysregulation because a lot of things are us trying to learn, understand, overdo, but never actually anchoring in to our body, to our existence on a physical level and feeling like there's always something wrong with us.
Why can't I fix this? I can't get ahead of this. I'm doing all the things in this checklist. I've watched all these videos, but there's still a disconnect. So what can you speak on there in terms of that anxiety and moving that energy? I love that. So it's almost twofold. What you've asked is like how to move the energy, but then it's also like, you know, the way I see empathy or the sensitive nervous system is actually the majority of us all have a sensitive nervous system because of the type of world that we live in.
We are completely bombarded. Food choices, plastic, water, social media, like all of the moving pieces. We're not taking enough time to pause. and decompress and reconnect. And many times, and I've experienced this for myself personally, I myself have my own history of overcoming, , some pretty significant mental health diagnoses, in air quotes.
And what I teach my clients in coaching programs, one on one group programs, even working with kids and their families is, We can actually learn how to take these sensitivities and turn them into our, our superpowers. And when I say that it's that we are actually put here on the planet with a purpose.
And sometimes that purpose is to learn how to create that confidence, that self trust. And most times the empathetic or sensitive person will go down that path. Exactly what you said of What is wrong with me? I just need the next thing that's going to help fix or remedy. When in reality, it is breaking away from all of those old stigmas and recognizing that it is actually part of our power.
And when we can learn to hold the dichotomy of. The empathy of maybe feeling other people's emotions of the, you know, all the EMS and all the other things out there. Like we also have the capability to detoxify safely, to heal what needs to get healed and then to truly optimize the brain. And that is what I teach people how to do is optimize their brain and their body and their emotions for confidence, for massive self trust.
I feel like I see the empathetic person differently than most people because I was always taught personally that it was a liability. And it was because of that, that I couldn't do X, Y, or Z. And yes, I may have to work harder. Or, not harder, but be more diligent in protecting and supporting this beautiful temple that we have.
It can't be neglected, it has to be supported. And when we support ourself and any neuro, you know, divergence and anything else like that, when we start to see it as a benefit and as a tool, that already starts to shift away from the. Almost that victim y language. That's always looking for the fix. Well, and I find there's such a fixation right now for people, they almost want to be diagnosed, so they can confirm what's been wrong with them their whole life.
And if you need to get a diagnosis, and that's going to help you, sure, but I really encourage anyone listening, is that diagnosis going to make you feel better, or is it going to make you feel like, well now I can justify, Why there's something wrong with me. I am a 100 percent firm believer. There's nothing wrong with anybody who's divergent.
In order to be creative, in order for us to be delusional, to think up concepts and create, and take on and heal and do all these crazy things. Most entrepreneurs are like that. Are divergent. We've got to juggle a lot of things and wear all the hats and it is a superpower. It is a skill, but there's such a thing right now with social media and the internet.
Yes, there's awareness, but that awareness is also making people go. Okay. So is it, am I bipolar? Do I have ADHD? Am I autistic? Like, which one is it that's wrong with me? It's like, they're all encompassed. That's why it's a spectrum. Get over that idea. Look at the beautiful rainbow and start looking at what your talents are, what you're driven by.
I like. Hyperfixation doesn't need to be bad. I create amazing things. However, hyperfixating and forgetting to ground into the moment or connect to my body, that's where shit gets crazy. And that's where I think it's really important for people to understand. For example, when I first started looking into breathwork.
I know we've talked about this, you mentioned in one of our groups breathwork patterns and how they can affect our body. You can go online and you can buy a course or a class or listen to a breathwork, but if it's not the right pattern, and if you're not aware of what you're getting into, you can stimulate an anxious response, you can make things worse, you can re traumatize yourself.
So it's just like when you work with any coach or mentor or therapist, if you're not talking to the right person, talk therapy with someone who's not trained can also be detrimental. Like you have to kind of look at who you're talking to, what are their specialties. You can't always operate in the, I need to fix this myself, A, there's nothing broken with us.
But do you have any, like, what would you look for? When someone's trying to find someone, if not with you or on the internet, what would you look for or recommend, and how can you speak to the reality of these patterns, and how the brain works, and how it can be detrimental when doing self help things ourselves.
Right. So I may ask you to come back to that question. Yes, it's a very long question. No, no, and I don't want to forget it because it's an excellent question of like, what do you look for when you are looking to really hire support? Uh, but really fast, you know, I was trained in the traditional healthcare medical model.
And there is a standard of care. And so I, Also appreciate it when clients will come to me or people will fill out my questionnaire and if it's for themself or a child and it's like, okay, so I've been diagnosed with this, this, this, and this. Right, because in the DSM, I mean, we are literally as healthcare clinicians, we are trained to use that to help diagnose what that actually means.
It's a cluster of conditions. It's a cluster of behaviors. And the medical model has attempted. And they've done a pretty good job of it, so I don't want to down that. Like, they've done a pretty good job of gathering a cluster of Symptoms? Behaviors, right, of symptomology, and putting them into a container.
So that somebody can actually, like, label it and be like, Oh, that's why I'm this way. And that in itself can actually be validating. It's when People will take that, run with it, not question it, and then start living their life from that place. And that is where I think it turns very maladaptive. It's when people aren't self inquiry enough, or they are relying too heavy on that medical model that only follows the standard of care.
And that's where I think it turns very maladaptive. Answering your question when looking for someone, you know, we're used to hiring. For example, I have a, I have a, uh, a client when she had shared a testimonial after working with me for about a year and a half, and I had worked with her and her son and her daughter, um, In a variety of different programs, uh, what she said was working with Dahlia is so different than working with a therapist, or a naturopath, or a clinician.
Because of how I put all the puzzle pieces together. And when you're looking for somebody to truly help heal, I even had somebody, I have a new client coming into my emotional resilience one to one program, and she brought me her concerns. And it was the fact that she had already hired people and lost money and wasn't any further along.
And I spoke to that fear. And so when you're looking to hire people, yes, look at their heart. Look at also their lived experience. I have learned how to overcome. learning disabilities, not being able to talk when I was younger, major depressive disorder, anxiety, hair pulling, like addiction, alcoholism, all these different things.
And it led me to learn about somatics. And that's what led me into integrative health and integrative medicine and regulation and truly how to actually heal. Because it was in grad school and some additional continuing education after grad school, when I was like, Oh my gosh, what if I actually don't have major depressive disorder, even though I was medicated for over 25 years, and I've now been off of them for almost, I think, 12 years?
What if I don't have X, Y, or Z? And what if it is different? What if it's more of a sensory integration, neurodivergent, Most people have that sensory integration, and I'm so going to use this word, dysfunction. And it's not necessarily dysfunction, it's that you haven't yet learned how to use the sensory world that we live in to actually help support you, mind, body, spirit, from the bottom up.
So traditional, right, so traditional talk therapists, and I love talk therapy, Right? However, it's very brainy, which I'm all brainy, so I get it, um, and I can talk about the brain for the next hour if you want. I love that stuff. Right? And I can talk about the neurotransmitters and how to fuel your body to support your hormones and neurotransmitters and all those, you know, juicy things for brain rewiring.
However, even when we talk about gut health to support mental health and neurodivergent, That's coming from the bottom up because you're working with the gut microbiome. You're actually working with the interoceptors. This is the part of the sensory nervous system that is sensitive, coming back to that empath, to lotions, potions, chemicals, food choices, even your thought patterns.
So this is more of the bottom up approach of being in the body and being attuned to what actually brings you energy. makes you feel good, makes you feel powerful, confident, supports your sleep, supports your detoxification versus emotional eating. They're very, very different. And I just use emotional eating as an example because that's an example of being disconnected.
I love when you're speaking from the bottom up because it really roots into the whole idea. If you think about it, especially when you're neurodivergent, we're top heavy. We're all in our head. There's a lot coming in. There's a lot going on. And it kind of is like very narrowing down. Like we're not rooted into our base.
We're not rooted into play. We're all, I got, I got, I got, I got it. We're trying to verbally process everything is from here, but when we flip that and we focus on building out a proper foundation, like a traditional pyramid, that's the ground up. And it's funny you talk about this because I spent a lot of my life, very sick, a lot of gut issues, like that's a whole other episode.
So going through that and then having developed a rare form of appendix cancer, which thankfully They removed and everything was fine, but like all of it was centered in that area of my body and it wasn't till I focused on healing that and working with that. That thing started to improve, started to get better, which is it's, it's incredible.
The gut mind, everyone talks about, Oh, the gut and the mind. They are very, very deeply connected. And there's such a disconnect on how to help your stomach. Like when you're anxious, your guts go. And when your guts aren't well, you don't, you're not functioning properly up here. And if we're not eating and digesting, well, we don't have fuel.
We don't have energy. So learning how to get that all to go together. But still, I find with breath work, moving the energy through the body, through our heart, through confidence, nothing makes sense until we can slow it down. It's almost like a scramble, everything's firing, like when you say it is a dysfunction when it comes to sensory, because everything's firing on all cylinders.
a lot of things feel like they're happening to us. It's that victim y vibe, right? How do I survive this? Which is why we live in survivable, which is why we wear masks, which is why we go out, we do all things, we look like we have it all together, we go home and we fall apart. Right. And then we spiral. And that's where you said like emotional eating and it doesn't mean you have to have an eating disorder.
I mean, I did at one point, but look at what we go for, right? Are you going for caffeine? Are you going for a quick hit of sugar? We kind of like start living in this responsive lifestyle because we're not operating in awareness, acceptance. And learning how to work with our mannerisms, with our cyclical nature, with our hormones, like there's a whole thing we go down there to like, working with your cycles as a female, that's a whole other route we could go down.
Like, awareness though, and that's what I love about our conversations is it really comes down to this awareness, when you remove the brain shame. And the, what should I do? Like you say, the checklist, I remember doing the checklist with therapy. And I was really upset because I'm like, I'm always scoring high.
And I was like, why can't I get a low score? And my therapist at the time was like, you're operating at like a 13. Anxiety is your baseline. Like, if we get to 13, you're good. Like, that's, that's how you function. I'm just like, I'm supposed to be under 5. And she's like, not for you. It's fine. Okay. Let's work with that.
Right. So I love that you just said that because that is where I'm, so I just have to like put this in a little bit because what you're actually talking about, this is part of what I'm teaching in Embody Your Wealth. This is my group program for the, for the woman. Who wants to support her physical and emotional body while also wearing all the hats, while the brain is going on all the different places.
The reason I bring that up is because part of this program is creating a curated, individualized regulation roadmap. And this actually comes, speaks to exactly what you're talking about. Because when it comes to the mindfulness aspect of being, And even the mindfulness aspect of doing rather than just checking it off to checking it off to move on to the next thing.
That's not coming from a regulated grounded place. And yes, we can use that to support us because many neurodivergent do, but can you have it? It's not even beneficial. Exactly. So it is a habit and that's where the brain rewiring comes in. And when it comes to supporting ourself through breath or breath work, it's.
It connects through that vagus nerve. This is cranial nerve 10 and this vagal nerve has different response mechanisms. And when somebody has had a lifetime habit of chronic stress, a fight or flight, and that's just how we've, you know, learn how to live. I know I'm calling you out so much right now, but it's not just you, it's everyone.
I've done it too. Right. , And learning how to have that awareness, to have both. But here is the challenge that I see in so many of the clients that find me. Is they are book smart. They are intuitive. They have the awareness. They don't know that how Or they've been trying all the different things.
They've been trying, you know, this supplement or or this idea or this even this like, You know, like healthy habit or this breathwork pattern, and it's just not enough. And that's because our brain and our body and our organs and our blood and our history is so unique to us that it requires that individualized approach.
And breath is no different. That's why there's so many different kinds of breathwork patterns. Because for someone who's been living in fight or flight for so long, I actually had a client that I was working with and she was doing a specific breath pattern that I very much love, but it was causing, hyperventilation, which is actually quite common for neurodivergence.
And so she needed a different breath work pattern. And when we tweaked it for her with some, with some somatic movements at the same time. She was able to ground into her body in seconds, and I watched her move from this frantic, disassociative state on our call to this grounded, I can do this energy. And that in itself is actually how we reprogram the body and the brain for optimal health because we have to build that library of confidence and self trust.
And the more we do it. We get better at it, and we get better at it, and it keeps getting better. And coming back to one of the things that you said, when people find themselves moving to that burnout place, oftentimes, because of my own history, work experience of working with brain injury and stroke, and, you know, neuroatypical people, that population, and always it comes into mental health as well, You know, it's really not that one size fits all, and that's why that individualized approach is so required.
And when people get to that burnout place, this is when allergies come up. This is when sleep disturbances happen. This is when that supplement that you were taking is actually no longer supportive for you anymore, and you may need to tweak it. And people just don't know how or what to do. Well, that's overwhelming because you're like, well, now what?
Well, now what? Right. And then it's the, well, now I messed it all up. How do I go back? It's always that, how do I go back? Oh, now I'm this. It's like, but we're always evolving. We're always growing. And I remember like thinking, oh, I handled this. I'm good. Like with postpartum depression. And then when things creep up or habits creep up, you're like, great.
Now I'm broken again. It's like, no, no, no. We're shifting. We're learning. We're growing. Would you say that? When people have these flare ups or things change or shift, would your regulation roadmap kind of be like that reference point, that outline where it's like understanding for us in that individual approach, this is the awareness of why this comes up.
What is this trigger reacting to? What is the pattern that, that makes you feel that like how to navigate those kinds of things, like removing, understanding the emotion behind the action, if that makes sense. So for example, if I'm trying to work on my phone and my kids are in the room. I'm going to end up getting mad.
It's not mad at them for bugging me. I'm mad at myself for trying to do this when they're there. Cause if I do it without them, I'd be done in under five minutes. I could send the message. I just send a message when they're there. They want to look at the screen. They want to send emojis. Now we have a meltdown because they didn't get to use the phone and why did I take my phone out?
And it's a whole thing, but it's realizing why am I mad? Where old me be like, well, I'm just a shitty mom. My kids make me angry. No, I'm doing something in the moment that doesn't work for me. There's time and space for this. So how would you say what you're moving people through, for example, like with this roadmap and these patterns in life, is it more situation based or is it kind of like a bigger awareness on how they operate and function, like from the brain?
And then how do we respond and how do we work through this? I love that. Okay. It's actually both. I love that. Yeah. Because. We have these global, this global awareness of a pattern, like what you just explained. And it's that actual pinpointed specific example that you then get to practice. And so the reason that this specific program is a minimum of six months is because I teach you the tools.
I tell you what to get, you experiment with it, you come back, you let me know, did it work? Did it not? Do we need to tweak it? And based on whatever situation like you just mentioned comes up, this is where it may, the tool may need to get tweaked based on what is actually happening. And without fail, when people leave, well, any program that I'm really working with them with, They are so much more confident to know what to do next in a specific situation, how to work with the emotion, how to, there's an exercise that is very common in the psychological literature of this reparenting exercise.
This also coincides with breathwork patterns as well. And it's the self talk. Oh, okay. You know, maybe I messed that up and maybe that's actually happening for me so that I could learn how to do it differently now and next time. And so it quiets the self sabotaging negative thinking patterns. And it builds in this.
Self love and compassion for our experience, so that we get to actually show up from a different place, without, seriously, like, pulling the rug out from under us. More often than not, what I see is people will especially neurodivergent. Well, this didn't work. So I'm throwing it out. They throw the baby out with the bathwater.
And that's where the regulation roadmap and roadmap and the sensory integrative perspective actually comes in. Because when you talk about like, when you're talking about the, uh, the therapist and it was like, well, your, your baseline is actually like up here at a 13. So, you know, if you go down to a 10, that's amazing.
The goal is not five, right? So it's having that awareness that where you may be operating from, even in this program, I will actually have people complete a questionnaire based on their sensory experiences of life. Because having that not me having that knowledge, like part of the reason people hire me is because I'm able to put all these puzzle pieces together.
Me having that knowledge. of your visual experiences, your embodiment experiences, your movement experiences, it's called vestibular in the medical where your body is in space and how that feels, your breath experience, the experience of somebody touching you, the tactile, like the auditory, because so for you, If your kids were actually quiet and maybe writing you a little note that was like, Can I get on the phone now?
You may be like, Oh yeah, here. Like it may just completely change the dynamic. Whereas we have so many voices going on in our head and so many thoughts, even more coming at us from those voices. Family, friends, people is often where people with a sensitive nervous system actually start to self sabotage and self sacrifice because they're not able to quiet that noise.
And that's what, that's what all of my programs really do. It's part of it because when that's quiet, that's when our intuition and our confidence comes in, and we trust it, and we follow suit. Our next right step. And then it gets tweaked along the way. Like, instead of trying to over rationalize and make sense of everything, you actually get to hear and feel and embody what you want to do next.
Getting out of that Hyped and overwhelmed all the time trying to solve and do all the things. I always refer to it as like making our thoughts slipperier, like they're still there, but they're slipperier, they're quiet, they're not as aggravating, your brain's not swelling. And what I really like that you mentioned too in all of this Dahlia is about your program being a six month commitment.
So I have a lot of people in my world that when they're reaching out for coaching, a lot of them at first think they want just for me, it's an eight week all intensive. Like I just want to go in and get it done. But the eight week intensive, most often they have to re enroll for a following eight weeks.
Cause the first eight weeks is debunking, reconstructing, understanding where they're at, redefining what like what's going on in order for them to take those actionable steps forward. So, which is why I made my program Becoming is a six month. private coaching package because it is a longer transition.
We all have this idea of, I'm just going to go in and get it all done. I can hammer this out in six weeks. And you're like, or we can actually make space improve in the way that we function so that we can attain these goals and hold it, not just burn bright, burn out, repeat pattern. So I'd love to speak a little more on that too, with how, you So many people, especially right now, everything comes at us, it's instant, instantaneous, instant responses demanded of us, we can buy it instantly, we can see it now, we can grind it, especially grinding it, we like to knowledge hole grind things, it's the divergent trait, but when we actually make a commitment To have an all in energy in a different way, instead of going all in right now for this result, what if we go all in in devoting our time and attention to actually improve to do it a better way?
So what's your feedback on like that with, with your clients, you're seeing this longer transition, you're improving their life, they leave your programs and after working with you, feeling like a better version of themselves, feeling capable of caring for their needs and operating in a calm state, might have a flare up, but they have the tools to move forward with that.
And I think it's important to speak about that because everyone right now is looking for the quick fix. the band aid, give me the, give me the pill, give me the supplement, give me the thing, like you're mentioning supplements, like okay supplements are great, like I like, not affiliated with happy juice, but I like happy juice, but what I learn when I'm not with it is why am I feeling this way without it, because I've also been ignoring all of these things.
Right? So yeah, I love your feedback on the longer term programs. Like what have you noticed when people try to ask for short term? Do you have people that go, Oh, six months is a long time. Like I can do three. Like I automatically just want to shortcut it. I'm giggling because I just had a client who signed up.
Literally ask me, can we do a trial period? Yeah, exactly. This is what I get with my coaching. Well, can we just do a month? And it's like, what fucking change do you think you're going to get in a month? I'm sorry. That's not even a full cycle. Like we got to go through it. Okay. So, and speaking to what you talked about with your own programs as well, it sounds like for you, those first eight weeks.
It's actually awareness building. It is. It's deep. And so, right. And we can't make change without the awareness. And sometimes that awareness has to shift. Oftentimes the awareness that people currently have is actually different than what is going to actually create the change that they desire. They may be aware of, for example, the diagnosis or the liabilities or the sensitivities.
And building foundations on that is not going to get you where you want to go. No, and what you think you need to get better versus what you actually need, which is why when people come to me, they're like, what do you actually do? , a lot. I know. Right. So it's two answers.
I'm very sciencey. One red blood cell takes 90 to 120 days to transform. Part of my training is muscle testing with supplements. I do have a variety of different ways and specific. And I do say healthcare approved supplementations because those are clean. And those are clean sources and especially for neurodivergent, like that is such a requirement.
We don't need more heavy metals and toxins and chemicals. We don't need any help. Okay. So I say the 90 to 120 days, like that is the minimum that one red blood cell turns over. This is why I don't offer short term things. I do have a. You know, six to seven week wisdom of the body program. And again, like we tweak everything really, really fast.
Um, and it's really supportive and it's also one to one. So like that is private and typically they will continue to move into another program because what they've experienced is so transformative. So carry it through. We can't just change. It's like, you need continued support. You need to grow, right.
Because life happens. Emotions happen. Sickness happens, if not to you, to somebody else, and it throws us off course, and then all those old limiting beliefs come in, which then leads me to the whole neuroscience perspective. So, when it comes to And I'm hoping your audience is going to love this part. Okay, so your neurotransmitter in your brain is covered by a myelin sheath.
This myelin sheath is this like white fibrosy, it's not really fibrosy, but it's this white encasing. That, that casing that actually conducts the electrical impulse from point A to point B, Which most people who are creative are numbing with, uh, medical care at both times. Yes. No, that's so true. So like what you feed your body, your energy, your breath will create that myelin sheath.
So the point of me saying that is I look at, I look at retraining your body and brain as like one big super highway. So you are used to navigating on a path, which is like a six lane highway. And those are the old patterns. These are the repetitive old behaviors. Even when we up level, we may find ourself going back to that, which is a normal part of the process.
What I teach people how to do is actually create feeder roads in their brain. Some people will call these like trap doors or you know, whiting the noise, creating those feeder roads. And those feeder roads can actually be so uncomfortable that people will want to revert back to the old behaviors. And this takes time because of that myelin sheath, that we are actually creating that myelin sheath around this feeder road that originally is, you know, like a old rustic, like farm road without any flowers and without any guardrails.
And it feels like a free for all, and it feels very uncomfortable. And the more you do it, the better it gets. Right. This is actually building the building blocks, the foundations of actual health and wellness, vitality, confidence, self trust. So as you build that feeder road, which requires time to keep getting off, to keep getting off, and it builds flowers, and then it has boundaries.
And those are the boundaries that we create in our own environment with our people and with ourselves, right? Like radical responsibility for that feeder road and being held accountable. And, and then it becomes this new super highway. And here's what I'm going to say. Because I've experienced this myself personally.
I took a jackhammer to my life when I turned 40 years old and I got married and I had a previous like vibrant health, healed my gut, got off of all of my medications, I was living my best life as an occupational therapist. Took a jackhammer. Got married because I'm so in love. Right. All the oxytocin during COVID moved across the country, became a full time step mom unexpectedly, by the way, it wasn't supposed to be full time.
During the pandemic, no, I didn't like, there was no way to create friendships, community. I felt alone. And that, those feeder roads that I had turned into super highways, reverted back to those old thought pattern. And, and because of my hyper awareness, it's like, I know this is happening and I couldn't really get myself out of it.
This is when I became a trauma informed healer with Dr. Vonderkolk. So like, like the Cadillac of the Cadillac, you know, if you're familiar with the body keeps the score. That's just who I am. I go to like the best, to repave that feeder road. And this is what I want to tell your listeners. That when you've done it before, you can do it again, just because a life circumstance or a health circumstance happens.
It doesn't mean what you've done before is undone. It means you're actually creating and evolving into this higher state of being that was actually different than before. And that's in doing my trauma informed, trainings also in breath work. It's where I realized I had built my last life in that chronic trauma response.
I was in healthcare, how can you not? And it was remarkable and I loved it. But now being able to build this other life from this regulated body and brain. And uploading, upleveling the nutrition, the supplements, refining the emotional regulation and the somatics. Like I had to change what I was personally doing in my regulation roadmap because it was no longer working.
Well, we're different people in different stages of life, right? I think it comes down to that acceptance. You have awareness, but then we shift into acceptance. This is where I am now. And this is what I know I can do. How do I want to do it differently this time, right? I think are really important questions for people to consider is there's always that moment of, no, I got to start all over, but you have the tools and the experience.
It's not going to be as hard as the first time. And if you're doing it a different way. allowing yourself to explore and play. Plant some bulbs in a mixed bag and see what flowers grow. That's okay too. You can still decorate without knowing what's gonna pop up and be like, do I like that? Yes or no? I think there's a lot of people that get stuck in that cycle of Well, now I have to do this.
And now I have to do this. And I've mentioned this before with like, healing is not our purpose. Healing is our responsibility, but does not have to consume our whole life. And when something happens and something changes, it's fixing that story of, well, great. Now I'm broken again. Right. We are still incredible, intelligent, vibrant, fully capable human beings, but looking, I think it's so important to explore, and this is where I really want to anchor in ending this episode with why it's important, going back to that question, how do you choose a professional?
Who do you know how to work, who to work with? Who aligns with you? Now, there might be people we go to, like you mentioned, you went to the Cadillac, the Cadillacs. Well, there's people I've worked with, very expensive mentors, but the price doesn't really matter. It's who did I need at that time and what did I go to them for?
Because I'm not going to go to the same person for the same thing and how did they make me feel? How are they relating to my situation? How can they help me now? And asking the questions before I even pay them. This is what I'm working through. Can you help me with this? And what would your approach be? I think it's important to not feel embarrassed to ask them how they intend on helping you.
Cause some people are very. system based. Some people have more of that, like you said, individualized experience. And I'm going to stand on the firm ground that if people do not offer an individual treatment plan of some sort, especially if you're divergent, you might want to look elsewhere because you're going to We don't fit in boxes and we are constantly changing.
Again, Dahlia, you went from one version of yourself to another version of yourself, needed a whole new roadmap, and you're still the same human being, but you weren't the same person anymore. Yeah. I love that. So I think because of how I was raised, I was raised in the medical model. My dad, my dad is a now retired neurologist, which is where my love of the brain came from.
And I was raised in a environment that If there was a ailment, there was always a pill. Mm hmm. So, right. And, and now he's come to my lighter side of seeing things. I used to say the dark side, but it's actually the light side. And you know, and he's anyways, we won't go into that part, but, it's just been fun to watch him, the, the amazing neurologist.
tweak what he's been doing for his own brain health and longevity based on my own training and my experience. It's been really fascinating. It's been like a whole like 12 year journey with him. Anyways, answering your question because of where I came from, I still want to know, like, what are your credentials?
I still very much want to know, like, how long have you been doing this? Are you brand new in this? or do you have a long laundry list of client testimonials that you've actually been able to transform, especially when it comes to neurodivergent, because it does like, like it or not, like those research based mindfulness practices that come from the Dalai Lama and other like sources, those do work.
It's just, how does it work for you? And so, you know, and I've hired a variety of different coaches and, Mentors, therapists, clinicians and I also will hire that person because they've gone through something I've gone through and they've been able to get to the other side and they're able to hold me to the place that I want to get to.
And them having the roadmap is so important. And I'll, I'll bring it back because this new client that I just signed. So she has ADD. She's the one who asked for like, can we do a trial period? Is there a guarantee? And the message that I made back to her was very much like, you know, I am sorry. I can't, I don't offer a trial period because I'm so invested in my clients transforming.
That like, if we're going to do this, we're really going to do this, and I will hold your hand every step of the way through every limiting belief, every challenge, every old pattern that may come back up specific for you, when it comes to the neurodivergent, really having somebody that you can trust.
If there is a question inside of you, not from the fear, but like, you know, even ask for referrals. Right? I mean, I even connected this, this one beautiful woman to an old client of mine who worked with me privately and in group and had similar challenges that she wants to overcome. And so being able to speak to someone else to confirm your decision can also help sometimes.
I don't always do that. I, because of where I've gotten now, I very much trust myself and that's where I always want to get people to is just, going in, investing, saying yes, and really going all in on yourself. Because you said something that I wanted to touch on, which was self management. And I don't love that phrase, but self management doesn't actually have to be a full time job.
It's just when you come from that perspective, it feels like it's hard. And when you find someone who can put all those pieces together and make it easy, you know, I love the 45 minute breath work. That is not happening for me in my life, like, yes, maybe a few times a month, not on a daily basis. It's an event.
It is an event. 20 minutes pushes it sometimes. Really? It actually really does. So it's like, you know, I have an evening, an evening meditation that I offer to my clients in Embody Your Wealth. That's the longer program, the six month program. Like four minutes. To help you decompress, come back to yourself.
There is a creator manifestation, something that you can listen to in the morning with breath and embodiment. And again, it's less than 10 minutes. Sometimes I tell people to like get an external speaker and push play and have it be playing while you're in the shower. That's actually even more powerful rather than letting your brain just like.
Go and go and go. And Ooh, I have this incredible thought and this incredible thought, which I also love, but just like making it tangible and implementable. Well, and always having to think we have to compartmentalize and schedule like you multitasking isn't bad. I think there's a lot of shame towards multitasking and it's like we absorb information differently.
So if I'm in the shower listening to something like I like to be in the shower or woeful walks when I'm listening to affirmations or things like that, because. I actually can hear them and embody them while I'm feeling or moving in another way because I do need a, it's ironic because I need multiple sensory in order for it to anchor in.
It's just being talked at me half the time I'm still thinking, right? So I think, fine, that's the work, how does it work for you, right? Because you'll be like, you have to sit and meditate in silence. Sometimes that doesn't work. And sometimes if it is working, I just fall asleep. And you're like, okay, well, now it's just hypnotherapy, you know, so I think people need to really step back and start being okay with what works for them and communicating that with people they're working with, because I think there comes this time when you do hire a mentor.
Where you're like, okay, I'm going to surrender. I'm going to surrender. I'm going to have self trust to do this program. I'm going to be vulnerable. Nothing to worry about. But then you feel embarrassed. You only partially share. And then you start answering things in a way that you know they're going to respond to a certain way that you think you want.
Like, you know, we start manipulating our outcomes. Finding that surrender, that honesty, and that self trust I think is more important in all that we do and who that we work with. in order to continue that anchoring process. Would you agree? Absolutely. And that's very much releasing the how and releasing the outcome.
Yes. Like people hire me so often for the presence, accountability and the how, but then we also have to allow the universe to come in to support what we're doing because that's actually when it starts to work better and better and better, not hyper. Controlling, being hypervigilant and hypermanaging everything that we're doing, letting what you're doing be enough.
So you don't have to like 20 health practices, just have the foundational three and let that be enough. Yeah. And if you add something here, add something there, Oh, Oh, did you do an extra workout? Did you eat better this week? Awesome. I remember even in therapy when I was like, okay, I need to go. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, trying to schedule times to work out.
I've spent years never going to the gym, never trying CrossFit because I couldn't figure out my schedule. Well, if I can't go in the morning, I can go at night. Well, if I can't drop my kids off at my mom's, they could come with me. Like, learning to be flexible and adapt and be like, what am I willing, how am I willing to make this work today?
Is it going to stress me out to do it? Am I better off to just do it another day? Like learning to. Explore options. I think we get locked into this idea that perfectionism, right? This is how it should be. And if I can't do it right, I'm not going to do it at all. And I think that is where people really mess up their health too.
Cause they're like, well, I can't follow that diet. So I can't do that. It's like, Then just do what works for you. You said the magic word right there, flexibility. So typically with neurodivergent or any kind of, it's a cognitive distortion. Inflexibility in our thought pattern is an actual cognitive distortion.
And this can create cognitive dissonance in how we want to act, behave, show up. And when we can have the awareness of it and then have the self love and compassion that, Oh, I noticed I'm doing that. And I can also choose to do it a little bit differently, even though it's a little uncomfortable right now.
And then doing the next right step. It actually changes everything and it doesn't have to be that hard. Making it simple. It's not really that simple, but making it simpler than it is will actually allow your brain I mean, that is very much like the motor learning theory of being able to learn how to be flexible and move with, in flow, more of the feminine energetics within those masculine structures.
That's actually how we learn to thrive. We can't throw it all out and you can't be all or none. It's really learning more of that like yin yang balance. It's just, yeah, learning how to be present in all of it instead of just fixating on a part of it. I love this. We have to embody. It's about fully embodying, embodying all aspects of ourselves.
And our life, our dreams, our touch, just being. It's really about being. And that's how I like to end this today. It's about anchoring. Everyone wants to get grounded. Everyone wants to get calm. When you actually put the effort into embodying Who you are, how you work, what works for you, and taking actionable steps.
And I say the word steps because you referred to that a few times. It's one step at a time. We don't, we're not in a race. There's this, we always feel like we're racing to get the result. It's not a race. It's allowing ourselves to learn and grow and adapt in order to be come who we're meant to be to build the life of our dreams.
And I say steps because one step will create a domino effect. Exactly. And that's how we create the momentum. One step at a time. And if you fall back, well, the stairs are still there. Just gotta keep going. And maybe that's actually part of the domino. Yeah. Is relearning something that we needed to master even more.
And so for, you know, on my website, I'm sure you'll have all the resources, but, you know, if people are wanting to learn the brainy science. the embodiment and some of the nutrition piece. That is where I have a three step free brain optimization toolkit that includes breath work and energy work movement medicine, which is critical.
That's the moving the energy through the body from a sensory somatic space alongside with a nutrition guide for optimal health and wellness and mental health. And then I have a whole bunch of other freebies, a hydration protocol, a forgiveness breath work, like. There's so many different things. Cause I really want to make it accessible for people to find it easy to support themselves.
Well, if it's too complicated, people don't go forward because now it's a whole thing and they're already frazzled, right? So we'll drop we'll drop the link to your website and your Instagram handles in the show notes So anyone who's listening can just go the show notes They can navigate that easily and I want to take the time to thank you from the bottom of my heart and my soul I want to thank you for being here for going on a tangent with me because I love all the brainy things and I love it because you get me more than I get myself and So, you know, I've heard that before.
Not in it yet. I do intend on taking that program. So if anyone's listening, I am going to back it because Dahlia is amazing. And thank you again. Just thank you so much for being here. Thank you for speaking on this and thank you for the work that you do because you actually Care about each individual and it's not just a checklist, you know, every healthcare gets a bad rap pushing through the system and it's like there are people in healthcare that care and find other ways to come out and serve people coming from that.
So don't just bash people because they have a healthcare credential. There is a lot of fundamental medical science and credibility and there's no shame in that because sometimes coming from. If you've been in a situation where you've had a poor therapist experience, don't limit yourself from seeking out people because there's so many different ways that you can get help.
And there's so many parts to who we are and how we heal. I want to say thank you. I absolutely adore you. You know that. And honestly, like, getting to know you over these last couple of years and how you work and how you operate, I do feel like I have an inside perspective into your brain, as do you with mine.
It's just been so beautiful to also watch how you support your clients and how you support your family and yourself and your beautiful puppy. I have an oddly love. So anyways, I just want to say thank you so much. And if anyone has any questions, please feel free to reach out to me on Instagram, contact me through my website.
You know, I'm just happy to help support. Thank you so much, Dahlia. Thank you.
